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Confusedgirl1234 · Apr 24, 2007, 11:43 AM

Well a month ago I wrote on here about how I had a crush on my husband's best friend but that is fading away some. I still like him but I know we can't be together so there is no point. I have decided I need to put some energy into my marriage and tried to talk to my husband about our marriage. He ended up getting an attitude and we argued & I felt like I didn't get anywhere at all! I try to do things to spice things up but he just doesn't seem to care. He said things are fine with him but I just don't feel so happy anymore. I want to get over this feeling but lately I have felt very sad & confused. I miss that spark that we once had & it seems like nothing brings that back. Someone please give me some advice... I don't want to end up leaving but lately just am not happy!!

alkalineangel · Apr 24, 2007, 11:48 AM

Explain to him that he may feel fine, but that you are feeling down. Tell him what you told us. That you miss the spark. May I ask how long you have been married? The reason Im asking is that many couples experience a "honeymoon" type phase for the first year of marriage, and then things kind of taper off a little... Just don't let your marriage become routine. I suggest maybe enrolling yourselves into some salsa lessons or something... It is a great way to learn and work together, and the best part is that it is a sexy, stimulating way to have intimate contact with each other in a new way. And it's a lot of fun too... good luck.

Emland · Apr 24, 2007, 12:06 PM

This is that "worse" part mentioned in your wedding vows. Hang in there! There are lots of internet sites and books in the library that can give you tips on how to spice things up abit. I agree with alkalineangel, find something fun to do together to change your routine.

alkalineangel · Apr 24, 2007, 12:25 PM

When we started feeling a little sluggish in our marriage, we started the ballroom and love it! Now we moved on to salsa to explore other ways to improve the spark! My husband thinks its awesome! And we really started talking more, and it def. didn't hurt our sex life.. :p

ggmagoo · Apr 24, 2007, 12:38 PM

Suggest to your husband that you guys start having "date night". For example plan a night where you guys go to a romantic place. Or plan exciting things to do over the weekend. If you guys are the adventurous type, may I suggest white water rafting, horse back riding etc.; go on-line and look up fun, romantic or adventurous things to do as couple in your area. You will find plenty of things. If you both like the same type of music plan to go to a concert of your favorite artist. After the concert get a hotel and spend the night. Start with things that interest him and that should get the ball rolling.

gypsy456 · Apr 25, 2007, 02:29 PM

Listen... you don't get married to walk out when you have times where you don't feel happy... it's called "making it work"... fighting for your marriage... you did not expect that marriage would be all happy all the time, did you ?
You said; for better and for worse... well, the latter is happening now.
Make it work.
It's worth it.
Don't give us so easily...