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minimus · Apr 5, 2007, 10:14 AM

Hi, this is my first time posting here. Here's the situation. My girlfriend (47) went to visit her girlfriend and husband who she is separated from in Texas last Thursday. This same couple had approached her for a 3some last year before they moved to Texas. My girlfriend declined. And supposedly they backed off. Meanwhile, my girlfriend and her friend have been planning a reunion. Since getting to Texas, the married couple split and have since been dating again. They both have separate residences. I expressed my concern over the fact that she wants to see her friend and she assured me that nothing would happen, she would remain faithful and call me everyday! Well, since her friend picked her up in Austin last Thursday afternoon, I haven't gotten a call from her. On Sunday at around noon, I got a 45 second voicemail stating that she got in fine, was having a great time, been on the go and would be leaving in 15 minutes so had to go. She ended by saying "I love you and will call you later". (A little background----This woman has always tried to get my girlfriend to cheat on me. Obviously I don't like her. And I told her I wouldn't call her because her friend has complained that I annoy her when I do).. . Any thoughts?

johnny-b-good · Apr 5, 2007, 10:52 AM

well if I was you I would call her at random time and just see what she was doing and just ask her what she has been doing and if just been studering then you know.

minimus · Apr 5, 2007, 10:56 AM

She's coming back tonight and her daughter's picking her up. I think I'll either get a call when her friend drops her off at the airport or if she's real guilty, I won't hear from her until she gets my letter that should be in her mailbox today.

Tuscany · Apr 5, 2007, 11:11 AM

A letter?

minimus · Apr 5, 2007, 11:50 AM

Yes, On Tuesday night, I sent her a letter telling her that after being together for at least 3 years (I got a divorce for her, her husband and her are separated ), that I couldn't or wouldn't deal with her not even WANTING to call me and talk to me. I explained that normally, when 2 people are away from each other they WANT to correspond with one another and instinctivly want to hear the other's voice... I just got off the phone from her in Austin. She told me she didn't call because she believed I'd still be upset by her leaving.

minimus · Apr 5, 2007, 03:10 PM

Sometimes it's better to be alone.

talaniman · Apr 5, 2007, 03:59 PM

Sometimes its better to be a lot more trusting and less insecure. Your to old for those teen age games and behaviours.

minimus · Apr 5, 2007, 04:01 PM

I totally agree.

minimus · Apr 6, 2007, 10:24 AM

Since she's come back I've gotten 10 calls! In the end, she justifies her not calling because she felt I'd convey my unhappiness that she went. Now that she's back, she said she was sorry for not calling BUT continues to justify. Uggh

Tuscany · Apr 16, 2007, 05:07 AM

Sounds like she is justified in her reasoning. She wanted to enjoy herself and not worry that you were worrying. Let it go. You really should look at your relationship and the levels of trust that you have.

talaniman · Apr 16, 2007, 05:59 AM

Don't be such a killjoy. Accept that its her vacation, and get over it. That horse is dead, so put the stick away.

minimus · Apr 24, 2007, 11:15 AM

Hey folks, I hope all are doing well. I thought about your comments and now I'd like to continue with the aftermath. My GF came back from vaca and wanted to pick up as if nothing happened with regard to her being MIA for a week. She swore that nothing happened and that I was never even brought up during the week. What I've come to realize is that she has shielded me from getting to know most of her family and her only friend (from Texas). I've been with her for yrs. Now but she doesn't want me around her family or friend because "they really don't like " me. I don't know if I mentioned she's still married----just no longer living with her husband... Anyway, she did confess to me that a few months ago while she was "mad" at me, she made out with a mutual acquaintance and afterward drove him home "but nothing happened but the kiss" per her. Then she told me that another guy walked her to her car and kissed her (he was a REAL GOOD kisser). Her words.
My opinion is that she's simply a cheat. Your opinion??

Tuscany · Apr 24, 2007, 11:26 AM

I am a believer that once a cheater always a cheater. But, that is just my opinion.

minimus · Apr 24, 2007, 11:33 AM

I hear that. I was always faithful to my ex even though we were in a good but sexless marriage. I felt justified in cheating. Regarding the GF, she JUSTIFIES by saying, "well, we weren't getting along then".

talaniman · Apr 24, 2007, 04:17 PM

I think you've been dumped, so move on. Not surprised, are you.

minimus · Apr 26, 2007, 08:38 AM

Hmmmm, yesterday she called me and told me she filed for divorce and is sorry about everything.

Tuscany · Apr 26, 2007, 09:55 AM

Wait your girlfriend was married? When did this come out?

talaniman · Apr 26, 2007, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by Tuscany

Wait your girlfriend was married? When did this come out?

Check out post # 12

minimus · Oct 4, 2007, 10:41 AM

UPDATE: My girlfriend has told me that she's going on another vacation, this time with her 2 kids, 21 and 14 at the Bahamas during XMas week. She knows I must work during this time in my retail store. Last year she spent XMas with her kids AND her husband and not me. She said she believed very strongly that the kids should be with their parents on XMas, even though they both have been separated for 2 and a half years. The funny thing is she's going to the islands without her husband this year (and I don't think he'll be with them").

Now, she could've picked any other time but December for me to go... she did ask if I wanted to come for a few days, knowing that I can't leave my retail store, and of course I said I couldn't.
Any comments??

jolienoire · Oct 4, 2007, 11:03 AM

Hey I was reading some of your posts, Me personally I think that this woman is taking advantage of you, you seem too laid back and because you are still with her after all she has done to you it amazes me and had you not posted her age I would think you were talking about someone who is younger! I think that she is taking advantage of you and at this point she knows and probably is very confident that you are not going anywhere hell you stayed with her after the first vacation. My point is why are you in this relationship to begin with? Are you happy? Her kids are not children anymore and about being with both parents is an excuse. But my question is that she could choose another week to go on this vacation if she loved you, or maybe perhaps you are the one who is working too much and not spending time with her, Maybe she wants to see if you would take off work. ITs hard to call it.. My thing is where do you see this relationship going?