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Elljim · Apr 23, 2007, 07:45 AM

hi, I am 15 and have been in a very meaning full and specific relationship for the last 9months but 3months ago I moved to Australia form the UK. this was a very upsetting time and the hardest thing a have ever done. We stayed together, she coming out in about 60days and staying for 2months and 3months later I am doing the same.

We are totally committed, we are in love and staying as close as we have of the last 3months has made me see what we have.

I was wondering,
has anyone been through this?
what you think the chances are?
and finally, dose anyone have any good advice?

any advice would be nice
thanks to anyone that helps out

Elliot

chuff · Apr 23, 2007, 11:57 PM

Elliot, at age 15 if you lived in the same town and went to the same school I'd tell you the chances weren't good. I know you think I haven't a clue and I can't relate but I'm only 30 and I was a completely different person at your age. When I'm 45 I know I'll be completely different as well. You both are going to be growing up in levels of maturity and personal growth that you can't understand until you stop in 5 years then 10 years and say "Wow, I've changed so much."

To be totally blunt honest I always hate answering teen questions like this because when I was 15 I knew everything and everybody else was wrong. But at some point you face reality... or life slaps you in the face with it, and you realize that life isn't like a movie, it comes with real pain and real loss. I can't tell you that you don't have a chance, but I'd being lying to you and doing you a disservice if I said I thought your chances were good. It's nothing against you, or her, it's just that you both will change so much in just a year or two and in 5 years you'll be two different people.

Jiser · Apr 24, 2007, 03:04 AM

Elliot, Ive known things to happen like this. Unfortunately life as said above is not plain sailing. It can be plain sh*t at times, but we learn and accept what has happened and move on with our lives. It must have been so hard moving from UK to Aus, a complete uproot of your life. Takes a strong person to accept that, I know I couldn't have done it.

Personally I believe the feelings you get are the same as at any age. Love hurts and its going to be difficult to make this work, its going to be even harder when you both leave each other again. Also bare in mind your age. You will change so so much between now and your early 20's, you will have the same memories but you will probably be different people, with different dreams, jobs and lives. Its going to be hard to make it work, maybe you will have a chance if you moved back to the same country in the future.

The temptations, growing, universities and 'going out' as such + the other side of the world will be too much pressure I fear. When you both leave each other it will be heart break again. But nobody can tell you what to do and everybody has to learn from their own mistakes. The friendship + phone calls + IM can always stay and who knows in the future what might happen.

Good luck! And remember don't put your life on hold for anyone because sooner or later it might happen.

talaniman · Apr 24, 2007, 05:27 AM

Enjoy each other now while you can, as life and distance may not make this an easy relationship to sustain.

Elljim · Apr 24, 2007, 08:57 PM

Thank you for your input, I am planning to move back in 3years for university, which would help, I no this relationship won't work if I stay over here but moving back will help . I no you change, we have both changed since we have been going out, but we're so close we change together. I no I will change more and she will, but its OK, because there's lots of difference between us as it is , its not like we're into all the same things and hold the same views all the time. If we did then yes, it would be a bit of a shock when we stated wanting different things.

Thank you all for your help