[lucita99]

Can i break up with my bf? chinese men stay friends after breakup?

[joypulv]

I think what you think! You spent the first 5 paragraphs explaining good reasons for breaking up, and only one sentence on 2 reasons for staying with him.

Many many people are afraid to let go, and many women especially (I think) are afraid of 'breaking his heart.'
Those are both terrible reasons, I hope you realize. Even though it means you are compassionate.

I would break up in a very firm and simple way, and I would do it now. Tell him that he needs to find someone else, and that you absolutely are not taking him with you. It is for his good and for your good. Don't elaborate, even though of course you probably will, not wanting to be cold about it. But you do need to be somewhat cold, or you will give in, and you will both be twice as miserable when 2019 is here.

With somewhat traditional parents, he probably is somewhat traditional too. If you both end up in tears, ask to talk with him with his parents, and have a prepared speech about how you won't be happy staying in China, and are 100% convinced that he won't be happy in Europe.

[talaniman]

For whatever reason the thrill is gone for you, so you are just prolonging the agony and increasing the misery. It's not a matter of will power, but of being honest, and doing the right thing. The Chinese fling is over! Let him get sex from another girl. That's my suggestion, stop having sex with some one you know there is no future with, and certainly don't take him to Europe with you.

[Fr_Chuck]

As a culture, in China, no after a break up you will not normally be friends.

[joypulv]

Why did you delete 99% of your post?

[talaniman]

I hate it when they do that! B(

Everybody knows you can dump anybody for any reason, but who's dumb enough to expect them to like it, and just be friends? He may agree to FRIENDS with benefits if you keep giving him sex though.

Problem still SOLVED!