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Emma Chapman · Mar 14, 2016, 02:12 AM

Me and my husband has a domestic dispute I was charged. The cops gave me the choice of putting him in epc or leaving him with my inlaws. Telling me that if I put him in epc they would contact my sister. They lied and my inlaws have him. Cps is keeping my child on grounds that I might hurt him. I have never harmed him he is almost three. When we got into our dispute he was sleeping. I have not been to merit court yet. I am already taking all the suggested classes and have finished one. What do I need to do to get my child back at the merit hearing even with an open treatment plan. I have a public defender but I don't feel like she's helpful. Also are they any advocy progams for parents going through this.

J_9 · Mar 14, 2016, 03:00 AM

What is epc? Where are you located? Laws vary by location, so without knowing where you live it will be hard to help you.

joypulv · Mar 14, 2016, 03:43 AM

What do you do at the hearing? You stay calm, no matter how much you want to raise your voice.
You don't complain about CPS or the cops or your inlaws or your husband or anyone, no matter how much you want to.
If you have ranted at your PD, you tell her you won't anymore, and really need her help.
You grit your teeth and keep a lid on all your anger for the sake of your CHILD, who misses you. The court knows that. They don't want to take kids away.

We can't know about advocacy where you are.

ScottGem · Mar 14, 2016, 05:00 AM

First, when you say "The cops gave me the choice of putting him in epc or leaving him with my inlaws." are you referring to your child or your husband. That is not clear, but I'm guessing the child.

I doubt if they lied. They may have tried to contact your sister and couldn't so they fell back to your in-laws. I'm guessing that epc is some sort of child protection service, wouldn't you rather your child be with family?

You apparently got very angry during the dispute. So much so, that CPS is concerned about you being a danger to your child. You have to prove to them that you won't be. Part of that proof is FINISHING all the classes required (you said; "I am already taking all the suggested classes and have finished one." Taking a class implies completing the class, so I think what you meant to say was I have started all the suggested classes and have finished one.)

If CPS assigned you to take a series classes, then they will not take action until you complete them all.

So you do has Joy said. You calm done, you work within the system instead of attacking it. The system is designed to protect your child.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 14, 2016, 05:06 AM

First the "cops" only suggest where the child will go, at that exact minute, CPS has the real say on what happens.

If the husband is the child's father, why can he not have the child. As long as he lives separate from you?

Domestic abuse is serious, are they prior calls of the police where no one was charged?

Also there is not a lot even a lawyer can do, if they are requiring classes (like violence or parenting, or substance abuse (or a combination of them)
The issue of the child asleep is that violence spreads and sleeping chldren are often hurt in the heat of violence.

ma0641 · Mar 14, 2016, 12:05 PM

Your posting header. "......bullcrap" , pretty much tells me your position, you think they are" picking" on you. CPS obviously has concerns or you wouldn't be in the situation you are in today. Take a look at your past actions and go from there. In many states, violent arguing in front of a child is a 3rd class Crimes Against Children offence.

ma0641 · Mar 14, 2016, 01:44 PM

Who changed your heading from "Bullcrap"

Alty · Mar 14, 2016, 04:27 PM

Where do you live, not exact address, but state, or province, or country, anything that you can give us. Laws vary from place to place, so knowing where you live, will help us give you answers.

Once you're in the system, you have to abide by their rules to get your child back. Children are not taken from their parents lightly, so I'm sure there's a lot more to your story than what you've told us.

You have parenting classes you need to attend. You have to attend them and finish them. They won't give you your child back until you follow their rules. Going against them because you think they're wrong, won't help you get your child back.

You have to play by their rules now, because you put yourself and your child in that position. So swallow your pride, and do what they ask. That's how you'll get your child back. And when you do get him back, be good and never make them put you on their radar again!