[gianni202]

Ok I have known this guy for awhile and he is married with kids etc. He is not in a good marriage from what he says.. WE never crossed the line. Anyway he tells me how he is looking for some companionship etc.. We are just friends. My thing is should I keep talking to him.. Should I be his friend?

[Oliver2011]

Blah. If you haven't crossed the line, you are at the line leaning over it. This is always how it starts. And after it starts he will continue to promise he's leaving his wife and that will never happen. He wants to use you. He wants his cake and to eat it too. Regardless of the state of his marriage, he is off limits. If he cheats on her and you eventually end up with him, expect him to cheat on you because that's what cheaters do.

[gianni202]

I know yes just talking to him as friends won't cross the line

[Oliver2011]

If either of you have preconceived expectations or plans then yes it would. Would his wife approve of this meeting, phone call, or however it is to be done? Would he tell her? If he can't be open or honest about this then he probably wants more than just a chat.

[CravenMorhead]

You can be his friend, but be ONLY his friend. He is married, he is off limits. It doesn't matter how bad the marriage is, he is off limits. No fly zone. Keep it in your panties. Got it?

If he divorces his wife then he will do it on his terms and not because she found out he had a mistress (ie you.). Don't interfere with the marriage, just be a friend.

[catonsville]

I bet this is more than a friendship he and she more than likely work at the same place am I right gianni202? If I am right that makes it even more of a line to never cross. Move on there are more fish in the ocean you can get hooked on. The fact he has told you "he is looking for companionship" already tells us you are in pretty deep and you will get hurt.

[gianni202]

Craven morhead in my pants yes just friends. Also Catonsville no we don't work together just someone I know we talk about life experiences etc..

[talaniman]

I know yes just talking to him as friends won't cross the line

That may appear to be true, but the friendlier you start to get, the more you may be tempted to cross the lines of good behavior as in time "feelings" of attraction can intensify. It's also a HUGE RED FLAG when a married man is looking for sympathetic COMPANIONSHIP!

Anyway he tells me how he is looking for some companionship etc..

While you might have great intentions be aware of HIS agenda. You know how many affairs I have seen start as just friends? Do you really think he will be JUST friends if he wants more (You probably assume so, don't you?)? Think about that friendship stuff and don't set yourself up with a "friend" who is off limits to begin with.

Read some of the other posts here and see how easy lines of good behavior and intentions get blurred and crossed in moments of weakness or NEED.

Sorry this doesn't seem to be the two way street, or equal friendship you think it is.

[smoothy]

Assume you were married and this was YOUR husband. Would you be OK if it was him doing it with some OTHER woman. After all, as you say... no lines are being crossed?


I don't think you would see it the same way as you do now.

[Fr_Chuck]

He is trying to get you to have sex, or it sounds like it, it will keep telling you how bad it is, and so on. If you are already a good friend, you can listen, but I would not get alone with him, since he will try to make it friends with benefits.

Perhaps you can suggest counseling for him and his wife.

[gianni202]

Thanks all for comments

[talaniman]

You are most welcome, yet I am curious as to YOUR thoughts about the comments and what you think your course of action may be.

Please share your thoughts.

[ma0641]

Maybe I'm a hot 25 year old Hooters girl-"I'd like to have a chat with your husband-just friendly of course BUT>>>" How would you feel and what should your husband do?

[gianni202]

Hi guess you guys are right could be dangerous if I keep chatting with him. I will make no effort to talk to him and keep my distance.

[ma0641]

Hi guess you guys are right could be dangerous if I keep chatting with him. I will make no effort to talk to him and keep my distance.

Great idea!!

[talaniman]

Hi guess you guys are right could be dangerous if I keep chatting with him. I will make no effort to talk to him and keep my distance.

That's the best way to handle a married guy looking for FEMALE companionship.