[charly22]

My husband got mad with me because I planned a dinner with my friend for Christmas and I didn't tell him that her parents were also going to come. So after learned that he started yelling at me telling me that I was a liar and other things and then he packed his things and did like he was leaving. (But because It wasn't the first time he did that I just didn't say anything) I tried to cancel the dinner but my friend was already on her way. So finally they came home and as they were entering the house my husband came back (with his stuff) telling that it was HIS house (our house, we are married) and so they have to leave. My friend tried to calm him down but it was useless. He yelled at me in front of everybody that I didn't tell him about the dinner and that was very embarrassing and humiliating. After that my friend and her parents had to leave the house and she told him he shouldn't treat me like that. We always had problem but I think this has gone too far. Is this something to forgive or I should seriously think in divorce. (Our boys were present all the time)

[Fr_Chuck]

As one, who used to have a wife who would plan events without asking him first and without telling him all the details, I would say you are totally wrong in not sitting down with him first before you invited your friend, and then not agree to her parents coming, without asking him first.

He is right in the fact it is also his house, and you both need to agree on guests for parties and dinners.

Not what you wanted to hear, but I lived though that hell for several years, of surprise guests, sudden events and more.

I will also assume this is not the first time it has happened, since he became so angry over it.

[smoothy]

I'm with Fr_Chuck on this as well. Except my wife actually talks to me before she plans anything.

Its just as much his house as yours yet you acted like it was all yours by never asking him before you planned any of this.. and worse... springing it on him at the last minute.

If my wife did that I'd be angry as heck too. Particularly if it happened more than once. And it appears it has based on his reaction.

Maybe he should start having beer or bar-b-que parties for all his friends at work.....and not tell you before they show up?

How would that be any different.

[talaniman]

I find both your behavior to be boorish, immature, and disrespectful, and maybe you should dump each other since you cannot find a way to honestly communicate.

I can see why you both have problems and that your kids probably suffer because of it.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will agree, he should not have left, but he would be within his right to let them know that he did not agree for the party, and he did not want them there. Also your friend, after they were in car, (doesn't everyone have a cell phone) if you call them, and tell them not to come, or tell them when they get to the door, sorry.

We are talking about a Christmas event, not just a 2nd Saturday in March.

I would say that perhaps there is a lot of other issues, that has lead to this happening, from both sides.

[Oliver2011]

"Is this something to forgive or I should seriously think in divorce."

I don't hear that you accept your responsibility for initiating this event. I know I wouldn't have appreciated not being told. And who does that anyway? This appears to be just a little piece of a much bigger issue.

[catonsville]

Wow, communications, what communications? I don't think either one of you would appreciate being on the receiving end of that act. Relationship, what relationship?