[kl19]

Hi,

in the past few months I had a miscarriage. I am okay with this, it is a natural part of life. The friend, who I have known for a few years and was casually seeing, I had conceived with disappeared after I told him. He said he was sorry and when I talked to him again about anything random, normal conversation, he treated me like I was irritating and has not talked to me since. I don't want to talk to him anymore, I have dealt with a fair amount of my anger toward him and feel a lot better without him as he was not a friend at all. I do however, have this desire to keep him on my social media, to see me out around the city and see me being just fine without him. I am still dealing with all of this, it's like a handful of sand has been thrown up in the air, has frozen in time, and has yet to settle. So, I thought I would ask people I don't know, because I haven't told anyone about this. I am trying to figure myself out and create a healthy mental space. Do I remove him from everything? Is it healthy to keep him on these social platforms? Do I look immature in doing so when he realizes I have removed him?

[talaniman]

Sorry things worked out the way it did, but I really don't think keeping this episode in your life alive over social media is a good idea. Nothing to salvage here, or be ashamed of, so why stop your own healing process to show him anything?

Like you said he isn't even friends material, so move forward don't look back. Eliminating him from your life and social media would be the mature healthy thing to do if you want to figure yourself out and regroup and rebuild a life that you enjoy without the ghost of this past experience.

Easier said than done and will take time and some work, but we all go through this process at one time or another. If you are going to engage in sex though, I would have a few birth control methods in place. Now a days you really do have to chose your baby daddy carefully.

Celebrations may be in order soon that this fellow is not in that category.

[joypulv]

You might be OK with the miscarriage, while he may feel all sorts of reactions that he would rather sweep under the rug, not the least of which is the fact that he was almost a parent. Then 'natural part of life' suddenly isn't natural at all, because he would be legally and morally responsible for financial support for the next 18 years, whether you two were together or not. Let him go.
Have all the fantasies you want about showing him you are OK, but cut all contact. Maybe someday you can be friends. Facebook is good for a one-way version of showing you are OK.

Would you be willing to say how you were planning to raise a child on your own?

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry for the hurt, I would move him out of any part of my life, no contact, block on Facebook, don't look up his social media and don't read texts from him.

You don't need anyone around you, that can not be there when you need them.