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Gibblets · Apr 17, 2007, 09:11 AM

One of the girls I've been casually dating has sort of started to grow on me. She's really sweet and down-to-earth, not materialistic at all, pays for her own share and is very outgoing and fun to be with. She's got all those qualities I look for in a girl and I definitely think she could become relationship material.

It's been about a year since my girlfriend and I split, and after the first few months of moping around followed by a fun-packed year of hooking up with randoms, I'm able to see things very clearly now when it comes to women and my own intentions, etc. Basically, I'm no longer blinded by emotions.

We've gone out on awesome dates- out for sushi, dancing, spanish restaurant in the richest part of the city... real high class . So recently, this girl asked me to come over her place so she can cook me some dinner. Yupp, getting a little more serious I think.

She'll be online a lot, and so am I because of work and we'll talk on AIM, on the phone, etc. Yesterday we talked twice on AIM...

I'm thinking that the chatting has to stop. Two times a day is a bit much... I'd prefer something like once every 2-3 days be it on the phone or online. It's just that we never run out of stuff to talk about and our convos are filled with little comments here and there and other flirtatious wordings.

All in all, it's been great... our first kiss was like magic, felt like I was 16 again. She couldn't get the smile off her face and neither could I. We have good chemistry.

I'm just worried that by ALLOWING all of this contact to go on, i.e. the AIM convos and seeing each other every weekend is going to blow up in our faces soon because we both might be rushing things? I was thinking of maybe postponing our homecooked dinner date until next weekend because my parents' new restaurant needs my help anyway and I also promised my friends that I'd chill with them soon.

I really like this girl though so it's hard, but there's a little voice telling me to slow down already... I feel like I should listen. I mean, I'm the man here... I should be controlling the speed of all this, right?

LBP · Apr 17, 2007, 12:49 PM

Sounds like you've been hurt and are afraid of taking a chance again... There is such a thing as too fast but getting together and enjoying spending time with someone you like is hardly something to feel nervous about. I think you should do what makes you the most happy, no matter what that is. Simply remind yourself that things are never so simple as 'Wow, that was a nice evening, clearly we love each other.'

Don't be badgered into that word and remember the things you've learned. It's never so easy as it seems - love must be proven, not felt, as bizarre as that sounds. When you see it, then say it... Not a moment before. Then you'll still be in the driver's seat. At the moment, you're just having fun. Why worry so much? Just be an adult. After all you've learned, that shouldn't be so hard, should it?

talaniman · Apr 17, 2007, 01:17 PM

How long have you been going out, and are you exclusive or just dating??

Just dating is all about fun as you get to know each other and that sounds like what's going on. Dating means going out having fun wuth any one you choose though, hence my question.

Gibblets · Apr 18, 2007, 04:43 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How long have you been going out, and are you exclusive or just dating???

Just dating is all about fun as you get to know each other and that sounds like whats going on. Dating means going out having fun wuth any one you choose though, hence my question.

Been seeing each other for 3 weeks now... just dating. I am sort of juggling 3 girls at the same time but this one stands out from the rest. Actually, last night I ended it with one of them so I'm down to two.

talaniman · Apr 18, 2007, 05:20 AM

I would leave things as they are, and continue just enjoying myself. It will give you the chance to get to know these females without the burden of an exclusive relationship. See how you feel as you slowly go along.

There's a little voice telling me to slow down already... I feel like I should listen.

Yes indeed pay attention to that voice, there is no hurry. Be honest with yourself and others you deal with, and take your time to find out what you really want. And don't worry about any competition, as nice females attract many. I think your doing the right thing, the right way. Think with your mind, not your heart and remember, its about fun and enjoying, after only 3 weeks. Balance is a key also as I'm sure you have a life without these females that you enjoy. Don't stop living your life for any one and this will keep you from spending to much time with any one. Your happiness revolves around you, so don't depend on any one to make you happy or fulfilled.

Gibblets · Apr 18, 2007, 07:04 AM

When is it appropriate to bring up the whole "so, what are we doing here?" question? I've never been too good at that. I've either done it too early or too late. Any advice? Should I just let the girl ask me to define our "relationship"?

talaniman · Apr 18, 2007, 08:23 AM

When your ready to give up the others and concentrate on one. That doesn't mean being exclusive you and her, just taking the next step, which is make up your mind what you want.