[Marissa17]

This is my first time posting in a while, I suppose you can check out my other posts for some more background info. If needed but I just have a fairly general question. After officially ending our relationship of 2 years that had been on a break by asking out another girl, my exboyfriend is trying to be my friend. He and this girl have been together for 5 months now and it still hurts to see them together, we all go to the same school and he and I have practically the same friends. Thankfully things have been looking up for me and I've learned to deal with it and bounce back more quick when it upsets me.

I don't want to be his friend. I'm polite but distant when I talk to him but deep down I know even that little bit of contact is not good for me and it bothers me soon after that I allowed myself to talk to him, especially now that he tries to reminisce with me a lot. I don't think it's been long enough for me since the breakup to be able to properly enjoy the memories.

He is a coward and he still has yet to bring up that shady thing he did by asking this girl out before breaking things off with me, and he most likely never will. I've been taking the high road but it's been the "elephant in the room" for all this time now since the end of November.

The real issue is that we're now on April break from school and for the past few weeks he's been wanting to get together with me to play tennis. I've been playing for a while and he's new but improving and he wants to see if he can beat me. I know he's bound to approach me online or over the phone sometime soon to try and set a day but I really don't want to see him unless I have to. I feel like something needs to be said, like I really need to put my foot down and say "I can't be friends with you under these circumstances" or something but I can't find the right words or the right time. I came so close to saying something like that to him the last time he contacted me online last week but I just didn't have the courage to hit the send button.

At this point, is it worth it to open my mouth and say something along those lines or am I better off just sticking with a "maybe" or "I'm busy" answer next time he asks to hang out? Is the whole situation 5 months back too far gone to be addressed? I'm tired of going along with him pretending like things are fine between us when they are not, at least on my end. I think by cutting these friendly ties with him I can start to heal a little better. Any advice on what should be said to him, if anything? Thanks in advance.

[Illusion]

You sound like a smart person and have some good self-esteem. I don't think 5 months is too far gone. You are hurt and do not feeling like pretending all is well. And that would be reasonable given that he broke it off with you to be with someone else. I think you need to be honest and let him how hurt / angry you feel over what he did. You can say something like, "Right now I'm not ready to be friends. I feel really hurt over what happened. I need to take care of myself. I need to be alone for now" - something like that. I think you are right that you need to cut these friendly ties with him. You need time to think about what happened and to consider whether you even want to keep him as a friend.