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    j2237806's Avatar
    j2237806 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Sep 7, 2015, 12:08 AM
    Am I the one with the problem?
    I'm 20. I have been taking my anti depressant for more than 2 years. These anti depressants lower your libido. With that being said, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year & 9 months. At the beginning, we would have sex like monkeys. Since we're young & going through school, things have happened. He had to leave for pharmacy school in another state very far away from ours. I'm very frustrated, angry, and resentful that he didn't try staying in our state, but I understand why he wanted to leave since he doesn't get along well with his mother & he lived with her. However, 2 months before him leaving, I didn't want to have sex. I was irritated during it and I just wanted him to finish. I have never been able to come during sex or in front of him. I only when I masturbate with the shower head by myself (not even with my hands). However, I find it weird that before knowing if he was leaving, I would love the sex with him (even if I didn't come). Now I do it to please him. What do you think? Please help! Give me your opinion.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 7, 2015, 05:44 AM
    Many (if not most) women do not have an orgasm during sex, they would with fore or after play, or with masturbation. You need to find what works for you, (you should be able to do with by hand. So take him in the shower and do it together, (if you want)

    If you and he wish to have sex, ( for any reason) that really is your personal choice.
    j2237806's Avatar
    j2237806 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Sep 7, 2015, 05:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Many (if not most) women do not have an orgasm during sex, they would with fore or after play, or with masturbation. You need to find what works for you, (you should be able to do with by hand. So take him in the shower and do it together, (if you want)

    If you and he wish to have sex, ( for any reason) that really is your personal choice.
    Ok, but what I was trying to get is if this low sex drive especially after some time of being together?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Sep 7, 2015, 06:04 AM
    Doing something just to please another gets really old over time, and if you cannot express your feelings honestly to at least explore solutions that work for you both then you will end of hating him. Does he know of your feelings about sex? ​What are his thoughts?

    Have you tried different meds for your depression? Talk to your doctor honestly and see if you have better options.
    j2237806's Avatar
    j2237806 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Sep 7, 2015, 06:22 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Doing something just to please another gets really old over time, and if you cannot express your feelings honestly to at least explore solutions that work for you both then you will end of hating him. Does he know of your feelings about sex? ​What are his thoughts?

    Have you tried different meds for your depression? Talk to your doctor honestly and see if you have better options.
    He knows about everything, but be thinks it's because I was angry about him leaving or that I don't love him anymore. I've tried different medication, but this seems to be the best because it's the only anti depressant that's specifically for OCD. But he's been gone for almost 2 weeks, & I've barely felt the need for any sexual pleasing. Maybe I have sexual dysfunction, I don't know.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Sep 7, 2015, 06:55 AM
    My first thought was YES, you were angry about his leaving. Funny that I'm the first woman to answer this question. Both men skipped right over it!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Sep 7, 2015, 07:00 AM
    Or maybe you are overthinking this. Without a history how can one even guess what goes on in a 20 year olds mind? Maybe it's a case of the lust fading, and other areas of the relationship need work.

    Could be not about sex at all. Possible? What other stresses are you going through besides separation from a partner? Finances... school... job.. family?

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