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stacyCopper123 · Jul 28, 2015, 03:05 AM

My husband is filing for divorce. Je is emotionally abusive, and we have a 3 year old daughter. We also have a 14 year old son who lives with us. He is mine from a previous marriage. He bought the house in his name about 6 months before we got married. Can he take my daughter from me and kick me out of home. I have no where to go and would never leave without my children. We have separate accounts and I make very little and have no money. I cannot afford a lawyer. I live in Texas in a community property state. I don't know what to do and am scared of losing custody of my daughter.

smoothy · Jul 28, 2015, 04:01 AM

If he owned the house outright BEFORE the marriage then its not automatically both of yours it would be property BEFORE the marriage and remain his after... but likely payments were made during the marriage like most home purchases which makes that arguable in court.

Before the divorce... no..it's considered the marital home, he can't throw you out, but after the divorce... yes if he gets it. For custody... that has to be decided by a court who gets custody, what type and the details for visitation. Its not automatic. She may be your daughter, but she is just as much his daughter as well. You both have to make your arguments for why i should be you if you both want custody.

joypulv · Jul 28, 2015, 04:17 AM

Call around for a lawyer who will work on contingency, getting paid from your husband's assets when the divorce is settled.
Why are you afraid of losing custody? You went through divorce before, when your son was small.
Assume that the court will decree a shared arrangement.
Even if he gets the house, he will most likely be forced to support you and your shared daughter.
Start calling!

ScottGem · Jul 28, 2015, 04:59 AM

You can't afford not to have an attorney, especially if he has one. Unless he can prove you unfit as a mother it is unlikely he can take your daughter from you (though if he has a lawyer and you don't... ). Most likely he will get joint custody. At 3 you can share custody equally. When she starts going to school, this gets harder unless you both live in the same school district.

As noted, he can't kick you out of the marital home until the divorce is final. But if he gets the home, then you will no longer be entitled to live there and will have to vacate.

AK lawyer · Jul 28, 2015, 05:30 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Call around for a lawyer who will work on contingency, getting paid from your husband's assets when the divorce is settled ...

I don't know about Texas specifically, but contingent fees in a divorce case are prohibited by cannons of ethics binding on and applicable to attorneys in most if not all states.

stacyCopper123 · Jul 28, 2015, 06:42 AM

Thanks for your response. Contigency is something I didn't even know about. I am sort of ignorant when it comes to Divorce "terms." As far a fear of losing custody.. there is nothing under the blue sky that could prove me an unfit mother, but I am just worried about the judge thinking that with him having the most income that she would be best off with him. I am calling around today to see if I can get some free counseling sessions to discuss with someone. We have a lot of complicated assets that are in his name financially, but I am on deeds & titles. I would just assume live in the same house and have separate rooms, than to be away from my daughter, but with his verbal abusive nature, I know it will suit all well to be apart. I am just so ashamed I am going through this again, but no matter what I know that God is beside me and will lead me through this. It tears my heart out for my daughter, and she is my main concern. I'm sure he will have her best interest at heart too, so howfully it will all work out as peacefully as possible. We have been to counseling a couple of times and even the counselor said that he needs some private counseling himself. It has been bad for about 3 years now so it is time to make some moves. Thank you all for responding and taking the time to give me some guidance. I really appreciate it.

ScottGem · Jul 28, 2015, 07:11 AM

Courts still tend to prefer children remain in the custody of the mother, but its certainly possible, he can get primary physical custody by showing you can't support your daughter. On the other hand that could backfire against him in terms of the court awarding you child support to negate that claim. But there is no way you would not get, at least very liberal visitation.

I would suggest checking with support groups for abused spouses to get some advice, legal help etc. Start by talking to the counselor you saw for referrals.

joypulv · Jul 28, 2015, 09:40 AM

Try to keep in mind that if you really are at the divorce stage, you MUST keep to short details that pertain to the divorce only, especially when you have a first chat with a lawyer. Write down dates, assets, any important information in a list on one piece of paper.

And again, stop worrying that the judge will award custody to your husband just because he has money, or that you will be living in a shelter without a dime! LISTEN to what we are telling you, and what a local lawyer will tell you.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 29, 2015, 04:46 AM

Remember it is also his child also. He, unless you are unfit, may get joint custody, (shared) Or you may get custody and he gets visits.

I would say, that if he owned the house prior to marriage, and you did not work and pay for the house (prove you helped make payments) most likely he will get the house.

As noted, without an attorney (if he has one) you may stand a larger chance of losing more. You really need an attorney.