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Majocs · Jun 21, 2015, 05:29 AM

Hi. I'm in bits. I'm 38 and my ex 48. We split up a few weeks ago. He said he just couldn't love me the way I loved him. Anyway. He thanked me for being his friend and we left it on good terms. I then tried to ring him. He ignored me. I text him asking what I had done. He text back he would ring me in ten. I rang him an hour latter and he cut me off. I said if he needed space just say so. Nothing!! No reply. I just don't understand

talaniman · Jun 21, 2015, 05:59 AM

His actions speak louder than his words, and you should heed them. I don't mean to be harsh but you really don't WANT to understand what his actions, and behavior are saying to you. If you did you would know to leave him alone, and give YOURSELF time and space to understand, accept, and grieve your loss.

Please stop expecting words from him when actions are so clear, even though it may be unfair it's obvious he cannot, or won't give you what you want, and begging him is not a dignified way of going about it either. I know you want closure to this but it seems you must supply that for yourself also.

How long were you together?

AtLarge · Jun 21, 2015, 10:32 AM

There is nothing worse than lack of closure. So I totally understand how you feel. But relationships are a two-way street. Even when ending one... You can't make someone respond to you. Here is something that has helped me in similar situations. Write a letter. To him. But also for yourself. To help sort your feelings out. You can read it when you are really sad; you can shred it as a way of declaring closure. You can e-mail or USPS it to him. But, once again, there may be no response. Crying is OK, too. Going out with girlfriends can also soften the blow. Best of luck to you! It hurts :(

joypulv · Jun 21, 2015, 11:15 AM

You aren't getting the message. He's being KIND about the friendship thing. He means it, but it doesn't include texting and calling and expecting anything remotely like what you had before. You have lost all rights to the expectations of a relationship.
It means LEAVE HIM ALONE. He's gone.
Unless you want him to despise you, of course, then by all means keep pestering him.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 22, 2015, 12:55 AM

If he, or anyone, comes and asks opinion after a breakup, we almost always recommend , no contact, you then get over them.

Why were you wanting to even contact him? What purpose?

So, just stop all contact and move on