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    Soccerchic018's Avatar
    Soccerchic018 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 14, 2015, 05:35 PM
    How to make them realize I am here to stay
    C and I met when I was only 14 and he was 17, we have a 8 year history of being on and off. The last time we broke up I was 21, he had lied to me about being sick and went out with friends got drunk and got a DWI, instead of fighting and figuring things out I left I was hurt and I did not trust him anymore. We decided after a year and a half to try things again. His family hates me now and told him I only want him now because he has a good job, that I am going to ruin his life, and that I am not welcome around his family...

    We want to be together but he also doesn't want to lose his family. How do we make them realize I'm here to stay?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    May 14, 2015, 05:59 PM
    Warning...I'm going to be brutally blunt.

    Cripes... You couldn't see the writing on the wall if it came to life and smacked you.

    Its been on and off for HOW many years now... that's because it just doesn't work.

    And its never will. If it was meant to be you would have NEVER gone through this one month much less 8 years.

    Stop wasting each others time and start looking for someone new. Or resign yourself to a life of misery and conflict.

    All you are doing now is beating a dead horse.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #3

    May 14, 2015, 06:13 PM
    The relationship is between you and him. Others outside of that don't get a vote. Having said that it's also very difficult for some people to turn their back on family. So you have to be confident a few years down the road that he won't give up on you based on family pressure. The best thing you can do is remain consistent. You owe them no more than that.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    May 14, 2015, 08:24 PM
    You have an 8 year history of being off and on. What makes you think you have a future? Your history pretty much sucks. Are you the one who does the breaking up?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    May 15, 2015, 01:15 AM
    You show them, by staying, but has his actions changed. Or will you just stay though anything he does?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 15, 2015, 04:05 AM
    You have nothing to prove to his family, just to each other.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #7

    May 15, 2015, 05:42 AM
    'How do we make them realize I'm here to stay?' speaks volumes. You are transferring your inability to have a mature relationship onto your problems with his parents. If he feels torn between you and his parents, at age 24, then he is really torn about you.
    You also don't realize that once you are an adult, which you are, you don't 'make' anyone do anything. All you can do is hope that your actions will show you to be more acceptable in their eyes.
    8 years on and off as teenagers means nothing - there's no clues there about how well you will do together as adults.
    He has a good job - what do you have for yourself, regardless of a man? Never think in terms of who will support you! No woman should go through life without having the ability to support herself, regardless of what may seem like a secure relationship.

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