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lala504 · Feb 11, 2015, 10:32 PM

I have been "friends" with this guy for over 7 years. We all hung out in the same group of friends. We have hooked up quite a few times during these years and he also has had a relationship for a few of the years that we were friends (we didn't hook up during this time, but he did want to hang out, against his then girlfriend wishes).

He has talked about marriage and kids/ future scenarios with me, he has told me I'm the only girl he feels comfortable around because he knows I won't judge him. He still comes around to "cuddle" even though he knows now that that's all he will be getting from me (he says he enjoys spending time with me and that he cares about me), but we have never talked about seriously dating.

He is jealous of my male friends and my former boyfriend (he said he wasn't good enough for me). Of course fwb led to me having feelings for him and I completely accept that as my own fault. I need to know if you think there is any hope of him wanting to be with me/confessing feelings, or if I should just walk away from him permanently?

talaniman · Mar 3, 2015, 11:00 AM

After 7 years you have never discussed a real committed relationship? How old are you both, and how long have you been single since the last boyfriend?

Really? You never talked about this?

Fr_Chuck · Mar 3, 2015, 07:36 PM

After 7 years, it appears you were a good sexual partner, and perhaps a friend to come back to, if and when other relationships are not working out.

After 7 years if there is not an commitment, there is not going to be one

talaniman · Mar 4, 2015, 06:39 AM

You don't have to suffer with false hope, or wishing for more than you have now, you discuss this openly, and honestly, and walk away if that's what's best for you, if he doesn't want what you want.

Its difficult to go from FWB to exclusive couple after 7 years. Why would he want to change what works so well for him? He probably cares a great deal for you, but is that enough to make a commitment for a future?

Only one way to find out and that's to approach him with it. Then you will know.

spicywings · May 10, 2015, 07:40 PM

I feel like you willingly short-changed yourself. In my opinion, no... he's not going to get serious with you because he has never had to take you serious. You've made it "easy" for him to come, go, cuddle, be friends, have girlfriends, etc as he wishes and you make NO FUSS regardless of what's going on. What's there to take serious though? He is pontificating about "stuff" while laying on your lap because you're easy to talk to... but does it mean, he will make you the one? Sadly, I don't think so. Bless you and move on if you really wish to find a man who wants a relationship and you should state that up front instead of being the "cool" friend with benefits with future hopes of trying to make a relationship work down the road. State your needs up front so there are no issues or misunderstandings.

One more thing... you said he wanted to hang out with you against his girlfriends wishes... sadly, guys usually tell on themselves and how they will be with other women (ie you...). How would you feel if you were the aforementioned ex-girlfend and he wanted to "hang" with his friend with benefits on occasion? Women... most of us... tend to think we are special... like he wouldn't do that to me because "IM" different. It's a lie. We lie to ourselves all the time lol. Tigers typically don't change their spots and if he could "hang" with his beneficial friend when he had a girlfriend, he'd likely do it to you (yes I realize you said no sex when he had a girlfriend but it's an awkward 'relationship' because those "relations" existed before with you... just saying).