[Kezzy5]

I have been talking to this guy for a week now and he wants to meet up but I'm really nervous. How can I make it less nervous and awkward?

[Homegirl 50]

How old are the both of you? Meet in a public place. Meet at the mall or coffee shop.
What are you nervous about?

[Kezzy5]

I'm 16 and he is 22. And just nervous generally around new people, don't know what to say or if he actually likes me as such.

[Homegirl 50]

Where do you live where it is acceptable for a 22 year old man to go out with a 16 year old? Do your parents know about him?
He should not be interested in someone your age.

[Kezzy5]

We live in Cornwall, and we are not going out yet he wants to meet me, and no my parents don't know anything or my nan and grandad.

[Homegirl 50]

You may be so nervous because deep down you know this is not a good idea. He should not be interested in someone your age. Where did you meet him?
Your parents or guardians should be aware of this. This does not sound right.

[smoothy]

I agree... there is a HUGE difference in maturity between 16 and 22. I'm speaking to you as a guy who has been 22. Guys that age chasing after a 16 year old are after one thing. Someone EASY to coerce into bed. 22 year old women are much more wise and smarter about such things. Apparently he's not such a good catch or he'd have one closer to his own age already.

Its also very illegal in many areas. In fact its illegal in most of the USA for that very reason. At 16 you feel you NEED to do certain things to please him and keep his attention. The fact is you don't. And you really shouldn't for any of those reasons. With that age difference at THOSE ages... you really aren't peers, emotionally, intellectually or any other way. That's not meant to mean anything negative to you. You are still learning and growing. Would you be interested in a 10 year old boy? I'd hope not. Don't discount that comparison because between 10 and 16 is actually less of a difference in maturity than between 16 and 22. Something you will see very clearly for yourself when you are 22 and look back.

[Kezzy5]

I meet him on Facebook, and only Been speaking for about a week and he wants to meet this Friday, but your right I sort of been in the same situation before but He not as bad. And no I would never be interested in a 10 year old. And no one of my guardians knows about me talking to him.

[smoothy]

Make up an excuse to NOT meet him. And stick to it. I think deep down you already knew what we told you. There are a lot of predators out there....they will "groom you". which means slowly gain your confidence and talk you into doing things you would not usually do on your own. You are at an age that you are actually far more impressionable than you think you are. Everyone is at that age. You are starting to feel like adults but you have none of the life experience of adults to see and recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you. And it really is not that easy to see in many cases until its already too late. Even for people much older.

[Kezzy5]

Yeah, he seems really nice and funny. But probably cancel it, do. You think he just in for one thing?

[smoothy]

Yeah... because he wants to meet you in person. That alone says everything to me. He doesn't NEED to meet you in person...if all he wanted to do was chat online. But its a lot easier to talk you into a lot more face to face than it is online. And he still might try online. If the conversations online get personal, or asking private information of any type, that's also a dead giveaway.

As an example, I've known Homegirl 50 on this site for may years. Not once have any of our conversations gotten personal. Nor have my conversations with any number of other members here.

[Homegirl 50]

You're 16 and he's 22, yeah, he's probably in it for one thing. He should be meeting up with girls his own age.
Leave him alone, stop talking to him.

There is no other reason he would want to be meeting you. Does he know how old you are?

[Kezzy5]

Okay thanks, and thought it was a bit odd that he started to talk to me in the first place, but thanks. You help made me see that it is wrong.

and yea he knows I'm 16

[smoothy]

A lot of girls your age get raped this way... some even get abducted and forced to work as prostitutes, many get sent to foreign countries... most are never heard from again. He might be a simple perv... but there have been a LOT of cases where girls were recruited on Facebook and other social media exactly like this. And there has been fairly recent major news networks covering this. It happens far more often than most people are aware of.

Sorry if that scares you, but that's the reality of the world today. You have to be very careful what you say, who you say it to and who you go out with. Better informed than finding out the hard way. It's not as rare as you might think. I've actually known someone that's happened to, and several that disappeared we believe (as well as the authorities) that happened to.

[Kezzy5]

Okay thank you.

[smoothy]

You are welcome.

[Homegirl 50]

You're welcome.