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    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 23, 2015, 10:09 PM
    Should me and my boyfriend remain together? Or break-up?
    Me & my boyfriend have been together for 7 months, and it was absolutely perfect we saw each other all the time, we were so close. Until about 2 months ago when I tried the drug "spice" because afterwards the doctor told me I had anxiety, and my mind wanders like crazy, like to the point to where I think about other guys sometimes and it drives me crazy, so then I tell my boyfriend about my thought and he gets upset, we are still close. But the thoughts are ruining us.. I am so upset about it he is the ONLY guy I want to be with, and spend the rest of my life with.. do you think we should keep trying, and maybe things will get better? Or just breakup?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jan 23, 2015, 11:25 PM
    How old are you both, and are you still doing spice, or any other drug?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #3

    Jan 24, 2015, 09:33 AM
    How old are the two of you?
    You need to stop doing drugs. Why do you think you are thinking so much about another guy?
    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 24, 2015, 10:47 AM
    We are both 16, and nope, never touched another drug, because I want this relationship to work .
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Jan 24, 2015, 10:56 AM
    Why are you telling him your every thought?
    Step back and let it go. If you are still friends maybe something can be rebuilt from there. For now let it go.
    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 24, 2015, 11:08 AM
    We are still together, and we are so close, like we keep nothing from each other. So these thoughts drive me crazy.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #7

    Jan 24, 2015, 01:31 PM
    So you want strangers on the internet to decide your fate?

    You need to figure out what these thoughts are all about.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #8

    Jan 24, 2015, 01:43 PM
    You need to figure out why you are having thoughts about another guy and I still don't understand why you are sharing your every thought with this guy you have been dating for 7 months. That makes no sense.
    Is it a particular guy you know?
    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jan 24, 2015, 03:41 PM
    Why am I so attached to my boyfriend? Is it from the trip I had, or my experience?
    We are both 16 and have been together for 7 months. In the beginning of our relationship for like the first 4 months it was absolutely perfect, we did so much together, and spent like everyday together because they were months midway through summer, so we had no school.

    But recently, like two month go, I had tried spice it was only one time, but I took 7 hits of it, so I was tripping really bad, like to where I thought I was never going to live through it. Never touched it again, but shortly after that I got diagnosed anxiety by my doctor.

    Every since then, me & my boyfriends relationship hasn't been the same, I sometimes point out his flaws, which upsets him. And we argue a lot, because I cant seem to control my thinking at all anymore every since that spice experience. Its like my mind never stops thinking and it'll sometimes lead to me thinking about stuff I shouldn't like other guys. And it really upsets me because my boyfriend is my everything..

    But anways, me & him still spend like everyday together, but when I'm not with him now, I cry before I go to bed for hours. And Ill think about the thoughts I shouldn't be having and cry even more, and crave to be by his side, I don't have any friends anymore, because he's my best friend and all I need, I don't do any sports or activities because I want to spend every second with him.. I just don't understand why I am so attached to him all of a sudden.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #10

    Jan 24, 2015, 08:04 PM
    Have you seen a doctor since you took that drug?
    This attachment you have to your boyfriend is not healthy or normal. He should not be your only friend, that is dependency and it is not healthy. You need to see a doctor.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jan 24, 2015, 08:13 PM
    Its scary you wrap your whole world around one guy. That's way too dependent to be healthy for you. Maybe between the bad drug trip and your fear of losing him you have anxiety attacks.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted and liking other guys while you have a boyfriend, and having friends, and activities besides your boyfriend is a healthy balance, and fun.
    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 24, 2015, 10:40 PM
    To that homegirl 50 chick, yes I have obviously been to a doctor, considering I put it in my question? And how is that not normal?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jan 25, 2015, 08:01 AM
    She wasn't referring to seeing your doctor as not being normal,

    This attachment you have to your boyfriend is not healthy or normal. He should not be your only friend, that is dependency and it is not healthy.
    ADULTS are telling you that giving up your friends, and activities for a boyfriend IS NOT normal, or healthy. Your parents, AND doctors would agree if you had told them of your crying, and craving to be with him.

    Talk to an adult in person to help you through this. Is your mom available?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #14

    Jan 25, 2015, 08:16 AM
    You may have been misdiagnosed by your Doctor. If you had these anxiety type of feelings before you used the synthetic weed, and they became the aftermath of taking so much of it at once (7 hits I think you said?), did you think the drug caused this change in thinking, or was it there all along.

    And, did you tell your Doctor that these feelings were much worse, after you took the drug.

    Or, did your Doctor prescribe anxiety medication not having a history of either your symptoms (as you described), or because of your history, without the spice.

    I don't know what kind of answers you are looking for here. If you cannot control your thoughts and behavior, because of those thoughts, and it is causing you anxiety, then get back to your Doctor, and perhaps ask for a referral to counseling.

    We are not medical doctors here who can advise you on the cause, or what the treatment should be for any medical/psychological problem. I get the impression that just talking out your problems without a trained professional, won't make things better.
    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jan 25, 2015, 12:11 PM
    no, I didn't have ANY problems with my relationship, till after that drug, my doctor had then prescribed me meds that only made my thinking much worse. So I got off, but its like my mind never stops running at all to where ill start thinking about stuff I really shouldn't in a relationship like a little memory with a ex, or another guy will pop up in my head randomly and it kills me, but I cant control the thoughts at all :(
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #16

    Jan 25, 2015, 12:14 PM
    You should have told the doctor the meds made you worse so maybe he could adjust them. To just get off them without proper guidance, is a HUGE mistake, you need to recognize.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #17

    Jan 25, 2015, 12:35 PM
    You don't just "get off" meds like that. This has to be done under doctor supervision. You need to go back to your doctor. That drug may have done some damage and abruptly stopping your meds didn't help.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #18

    Jan 25, 2015, 12:47 PM
    Thinking other guys are attractive is normal. Thinking about being with them, wishing you were with them, or dating them or whatever, maybe is your mind simply telling you that you want to be able to date other people; that while your boyfriend may be a great guy, you just aren't ready to be tied to one person. It might also be why you are now finding fault with your boyfriend.

    You could be fighting what you "think" you should be doing... staying in a relationship with your boyfriend, with what you "know" that you should be doing... just enjoying dating different guys until eventually, when you are older, you will meet someone who is the only one on your mind.
    hello62214's Avatar
    hello62214 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jan 25, 2015, 02:10 PM
    First off I didn't just "get off" the meds my doctor knew I was getting off them. And I told him they made it worse for me.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #20

    Jan 25, 2015, 03:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by hello62214 View Post
    First off I didn't just "get off" the meds my doctor knew I was getting off them. And I told him they made it worse for me.
    Maybe you should make yourself more clear before you go off on someone's comment.

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