[HandxStands]

Where to start here... I am 25 in school, going back for a second degree and doing very well at that and I am single. Many aspects of my life are going very well, I have a great family, surrounded by great friends, have many hobbies and doing well in school. I have had an issue that has seemed to encompass my entire life and happiness for that matter. I am terrible at being single and I am unhappy.

It seems that over the past 6 months or so I have developed this bad habit of pursuing almost any female I meet as a possible person to date and I am finally starting to recognize how unhealthy that is. I do have a history of suffering from slight depression and anxiety and have spoken to a few professionals about it. I'd say since I was about 17 or 18 the depression and anxiety has been an issue. I have never taken medication and don't plan too. I have had made great progress in terms of mental health and over well being. Anyway, I feel like there is a big empty space in my life that I try to keep filling (chasing girls) and I fall short EVERY SINGLE TIME. I have had relationships before but they usually end the same way with me getting overattached and ultimately me getting hurt. I can't seem to fill this empty spot in my life. As I said before, I have hobbies (gym, motorcycle, friends, going out, etc.) and I am doing well at school and my job, but just for some reason it is not good enough for me! It seems the ultimate determinant for my happiness is if I am seeing someone and it has taken me till now to realize how dangerous that is. Here is a great example: if there is someone I am interested in and they don't respond to my text it has actually effected my day to the point where I get depressed and I feel rejected. I am really not sure what to do here and any advice would be amazing!

Thank you!

[Wondergirl]

How would being in a relationship improve your life? What would it give you that you don't have now?

[talaniman]

It seems that over the past 6 months or so I have developed this bad habit of pursuing almost any female I meet as a possible person to date and I am finally starting to recognize how unhealthy that is.

No its not. Not only is it healthy its normal. Maybe you fail to adjust when its more friendship than lust. Female friends are great to have for young single guys. Rejection is but a temporary thing more circumstance than situation and well beyond your control, so why would it blow your day?

Handle your depression better, and handling rejection is even easier. You do have some control over YOUR depression. Maybe it's not even depression, but disappointment, frustration, a bit of helpless anger. All of which can be managed.

So can rejection. So can expectations when interacting with other humans, including females that you are attracted too. One way is being grateful for the time you get to spend getting to know them, and the fun times you had and KNOWING there will be even more females to spend time with in the future.

Enjoy it while you got it. Sure it may still hurt, but you know hurt is a temporary condition. Bet if you look back at it, you already knew that.

[dontknownuthin]

Why are you against medication? Would you be against it if you had strep throat, or diabetes? Treat the anxiety and depression and then learn to hold off on pursuing women. Take time to get to know them as your main goal. Then when you have a friendship in place, and know what they are all about, consider whether your lives and beliefs are compatible, and whether you feel an attraction. This takes time.