[akhilnooru]

my English is not good, so please forgive..
I am from India, 20 years old
I loved a girl(let her be x for convenience) for 4 years... I told her about my love..
she too was falling for me after 4 yrs..
but another girl(let her be y) who as just a crush came into my life.. and I chose the second one.. I don't know why. But now I feel that it was the greatest mistake I ever made...
I left my real love just for a crush..
and I told x that I am in a relationship and I don't love x anymore...
and she was totally heartbroken.. she said she loved me a lot.. but now she don't love me...
I really miss her(x)..
my relation with y lasted for less than a month...
I know I made a big mistake.. I need to say sorry to her(x)..
but I cant.. I don't know how she will react..
how will I say this to her...
she don't know that we broke up... she don't have any contact with me...
I love her a lot... and I need to say sorry.. I don't know how to...
I need your help...
both of them are 18...

[Precious7]

Hi Akhil,

It is sure that the 'x' heart is broken when you left her for 'Y'. You have taken your own decisions. Now if you really love X, then go to her and speak clearly and tell every truth that you broke up with X and you realize that you love Y and how did that happen... And let Y decide whether she wants to be with you or not. You don't manipulate by you words and action. Let it be her choice. That's how now you can correct your mistake by giving her Y freedom to choose or decide whether she wants to be with you or not. And whatever will be the result. You may have to accept it.
I hope it helps.

[Cat1864]

I think you should leave both females alone and move on to find someone new. Hopefully, X has moved on with her life.

You need to be alone for awhile to figure out just what you are looking for in a partner and to find out why you allowed Y to come between you and X. What was X missing that had you convinced that Y was a better match. Why do you think that X is a better match now that Y is out of the picture? If X did take you back, are you sure enough of your feelings for her that when Z (or any other letter of the alphabet) comes along you won't be chasing her?

Frankly, you broke X's trust by telling her that you wanted someone else and that you don't love her. Very few women would be able to overcome the distrust something like that causes. Even if she did forgive you it would still be in her thoughts and make her wonder who you would run off with next time. It would take a great deal of patience, work and energy on both of your parts to build a relationship. Could you do you part without getting frustrated and walking off again?

Since this is India, one other question, what are your intentions for a relationship with X? If you are considering marriage in the future, would the family approve? Does your family like her? I realize you are all still young and still have careers to start/establish before marriage would become a reality, but I also realize that if the family isn't approving, it can cause issues even years down the road.

[talaniman]

You cannot correct a mistake until you have fully understood the consequences of it. Apologize and leave the girl alone, and don't expect the apology to undo your mistake. Let her heal and decide to forgive you in her own way and time, without your begging or persuasion.

If you cannot accept that the decision is hers, not yours, and your intention is to convince her to take you back, then your intentions are not honorable, or sincere, merely SELFISH, and you are just repeating your own cruel, selfish mistake again.

Had you thought of her first, you probably would NOT have made such a selfish, cruel mistake in the first place. If you cannot learn this lesson, you will simply keep making the same cruel selfish mistakes until you do.