[goyanks]

Hello. My girlfriend is 16 and turning 17 this may. She lives in Pennsylvania. I am 19 and turning 20 this June. And I live in Maryland. Is this age difference okay if our parents are OK with it and we love each other?

[joypulv]

The term that refers to this is 'age of consent.' In the US, it goes by state. In PA, the age is 16 if both parties are either 16 or 17. You being 19 fall under the 'corruption of minors' law which makes the age of consent 18 for the other party. (Another way to say this is that there is a 'close in age exemption' to the age of consent of 18.)

Love has nothing to do with the law.

All parents saying OK makes it OK ---- unless one of them changes his or her mind. There are countless situations in which that can happen that you can't foresee, although the biggie of course is pregnancy. You could be driving and get in an accident that causes injury. You could go somewhere where people are getting arrested or hurt. She could get mad at you about virtually anything and a parent could blame you, and you have no recourse at all. You could be charged with risk of injury to a minor (other similar terms are used too). None is these is automatically a violation of the law. It would take an adult to complain and file charges.

So think of all the risks before you proceed.

[talaniman]

If its okay with your parents, then its okay.

[ScottGem]

While what joy provided is correct, it applies to sexual intimacy between the two of you. It does not apply to dating.

If your relationship does not involve sexual intimacy and her parents are OK with it, then it should be OK. In my opinion, the age difference is right at the borderline. At 16, she is still into childhood things. She would be more involved in HS type things. You, on the other hand, are either in college or starting a career. Your interests will be more mature. In less than 2 years, you will be able to go to bars and clubs. She won't for another 4 years. So while I think the relationship is OK as long as no sex is involved, I don't see a long term future for it. There are many other factors that I am not aware of that could make me wrong. Like for example, PA and MD share a border. So you may not live very far from each other and see her frequently, or it could be a more long distance relationship.

[joypulv]

While I should have distinguished between dating and sex, what I said about consequences is applicable (except for pregnancy) even if just you date and don't have sex. You are still an adult out (presumably away from either of your houses) with a minor child, and can be charged with endangerment if anything happens to her, even if it isn't anything you did to her. I made it a strong warning because you are so naive about love having anything to do with legal rights. If you do have sex with her, and an adult wants you to be charged with any kind of risk to a minor, you will find that you really have almost no rights at all. Sexual offender registries are full of such young men, even though more states now add a rating scale to the type of sexual crime.

[talaniman]

The parents being okay with this relationship means MORE responsibility on your part than if you were the same age, and I hope you can live up to their boundaries, and trust.