[Kezzy5]

I been feeling really down lately on and off but not normally feel happy
, not wanting to talk and feel like I am a waste of space and that I worhtless sometimes and I have had suicidal thoughts not all the time but a couple occasions and was really close couple of months ago to overdosing, I have to self-harm to get me through so it would make it bit more easier to cope, I went to the doctors last year and past me onto counsling and said to young to be put on antidepressants but I feel like they don't listen to me and that I'm not a priority as such because I rang recently about couple weeks ago and said it concerns how I have been feeling lately and they didn't phone me back so that I can get an appointment, feel like I am wasting there time. What should I do, is it normal to feel the way I do?

[joypulv]

I'm not a big one for defining normal. Even if you think about suicide. It depends on how much suffering you are going through, how active the thoughts of dying are, and how well you get through the days.

Now - how old are you? What part of the world are you in? Do you have family, and do you all get along? When you thought about overdosing, what would you have OD'd on?

Suggestions on what to do depend on your answers, and I and others may have more questions too.

[Kezzy5]

I am 16 and my parents are drug addicts so a lot of hassle and drama has came with that and so I moved out and live with my nan and grandad at age of 15 and I do have family but that doesn't stop me from feeling alone and I was going to OD on paracetamols and aspirin and I'm in the UK and the thoughts of dying pop up couple times over say a 2 week period.

[joypulv]

That explains a lot, the wasting space and worthless feelings.
Please don't burn out your stomach on those drugs. You won't die but you will be in pain and may have stomach problems from the aspirin, and liver problems from the Tylenol (paracetamol).
Are you in school?
Do your grandparents treat you with understanding?
Did you leave friends behind when you moved?
Are you an only child?

[Kezzy5]

I am a twin and he has go to my parents side and he now does drugs and has been for a while since like 13 and I can't talk to my nan and grandad, and I am in college in year 12, I have aunties that I can soemtimes talk too, but feel like I'm wasting there time as they have there own lives to deal with and my parents have put the hole family through a lot and my nan tries to act like nothing wrong but it horrible when I have to go over and see them out of it or when I hear them and they can hardly talk, all I can think about is everything bad that has happened.

[joypulv]

I'm very sorry about all of this. Your nan is hoping to do the best for you by pretending nothing is wrong, which can be good or not so good... she may be willing to talk but is waiting for you to start. She may not realize that 16 is old enough to be able to express all sorts of feelings and thoughts.

I wasn't happy at 16, but it wasn't as bad as your situation. I read a lot, and thought deep thoughts about life, and wished I could live somewhere else. I went off to college after high school and then dropped out almost immediately, and drifted around the country. You say you are in college - is that what you call a high school that your parents pay for? We call that private school in the US, and I thought in the UK they were called public school, which is what we call regular school. Doesn't really matter - it's your last year, right? Then what are your plans? It's only 5 months away!

[Kezzy5]

It is a public school and in the US it called high school and to us it called college and I have 2 years left which I am doing my A levels if that makes it clearer, and hopefully go to university, but just these thoughts are making theses difficult to want to contiune, even though I have a clear direction of where I want to go and be when Im older, that why I didn't know if there anything wrong with me? And thank you and sorry to hear about your situation being bad as well.

[talaniman]

You sound so depressed but how does getting pregnant play into this and how are things with the possible baby daddy? You have many things going on that may add to this feeling, which is overwhelming to say the least. Also how old are your grand parents and are there any trusted relatives or adults in your life?

I would feel bad too in your situation, but would be looking for a teacher, relative, counselor, coach, reverend or trusted adult who you can talk to if nothing else than to vent those deep seated feelings of anger and resentment,and get some wise words of good orderly direction to teach you the proper coping skills to deal with your life and life in general.

16 is a tough time anyway without all these other issues caused by other people. Hard to accept you have no control over their stupidity, and THAT is what hurts YOU the most. So really it's more than normal, its human to be deeply hurt by the actions of ones you just want the best for and be happy with, and should get love from, NOT pain and misery, worrying about them. It's not fair and you shouldn't hurt yourself over the dumb stuff that loved ones do.

Yes I would be a bit depressed too, if my family got torn up over BS. Write a letter and let them have all the pain and disgust you feel. Mail it, and leave that crap behind you. Stay away from them until YOU feel better, and they DO better.

Find a better example of a good human to talk to.

[joypulv]

Oh mine was millions of eons ago...

What is the direction you plan to take?

No, I doubt that there is anything wrong with you. Children need LOVE, and as they get into their teens, they also need the care that goes with planning for life, and help with it. Without love, we feel lost and alone and meaningless. I felt it intensely. We can fill in the blanks to some extent, finding ways to replace what we didn't get. It isn't easy, and it isn't easy to describe. Some dive head first into young romance and relationships that don't work out. Others do drugs as a way to numb it all. There are countless ways to 'fill the void,' or try to. It is possible to fill the void, even if not completely. Few of us have perfect families and perfect lives anyway, so it's all a matter of degree.

Keep talking... like about your plans, or anything you want...

[Kezzy5]

Thank you, and it just happened tbh, but then we broke up so if I am pregnant I don't really know what to do? And my grandparents are only in there 50's and I do have the one teacher I trust but soemtimes he not helpful because he says I'm just as bad as my parents.

[joypulv]

Pregnant? Don't see the post?

[Kezzy5]

And thank you joypulv will do.

I might be pregnant, I might not be? Because I have came on my period but information says that you can still be pregnant and have periods. Had a few symptoms but might just be related to coming on. Not that I get all of the symptoms I have experienced.

The direction I choose to take is to be a social worker.

[joypulv]

Is there any chance I can talk you out of having sex while all this is going on?

What do you mean by coming on? Starting your period?

You can have some bleeding when pregnant, but not a real period with tissue clumps (unless you are miscarrying). You can buy a test kit when you are 2 weeks past what would have been your last period.

Social worker sounds good - you've been your own for years.

[Kezzy5]

Thank you, and yeah I'm not having sex anymore anyway at this moment in time and I was just over 2 weeks late but my periods are irregular anyway, but I have experienced some symptoms like not sleeping, tired, sore boobs, feeling sick, bloated discomfort, headaches, bachache, some cravings, bigger boobs, cramps etc. But I came on my period I think that is it but I'm not as heavy as I normally am as it is lighter than usual. I could be worrying for no reason. And I have searched that you can bleed why pregnant so that also why I am worrying more.


Happy new year too.

[talaniman]

Between the break up, pregnancy worries, and family issues, you certainly have a lot on your plate for one so young! More the reason to be good to yourself as you survive this life storm. You can't see it now, but it WILL make you stronger.

You will see. Good luck, and please visit here again, and often. ��

[joypulv]

Anything from hormone fluctuations month to month, to stress, to unhealthy diet, can give you all those symptoms and make your period light.
The answer we give here all the time is this: there's no way to know without testing, sometimes several times.
Try not to worry. I know, easy for me to say! We all worry of course, but a lot of worry can be avoided by being 'proactive.' I put that in quotes, not sure if you know the word? It means planning for anything. Write down a list of steps you will take if you turn out to be pregnant. Counseling, clinics, all the available resources, and whether they are free or not. You could even go now for counseling for birth control, even if you won't use it right away.

[Kezzy5]

Thank you both for the support, you have been great. And I will try that too. Can't thank you both enough.

[joypulv]

I read your advice to someone here. That's good! Teen advice can add so much, especially to other teens, and they can identify with you, and you with them.

[Kezzy5]

Thank you