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emma2014 · Dec 14, 2014, 01:14 PM

My boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me about 4 months ago seeing as I was leaving on exchange for the year and he was heading to university. We agreed that we would stay in contact and might revisit the relationship when we both return to town for the summer, but thus far I've only heard from him once. I can't seem to stop thinking about him and I'm afraid that when I see him again he will have moved on and I'll have to go through the same heart break that I felt four months ago all over again. I've tried to remove everything that reminds me of him (pictures, text messages) from my life but I still can't seem to get over him. How can I move past this, and why do I still feel this way when four months have already passed?

talaniman · Dec 14, 2014, 01:28 PM

What have you been doing with your time? I would hope staying busy and enjoying yourself and not just sitting waiting for him to be in contact with you.

Often it takes longer for the one that gets dumped to move on because they may not be ready too.

emma2014 · Dec 25, 2014, 04:51 PM

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me about four months ago seeing as we were going to be apart for ten months. We parted on good terms and agreed that we would stay in touch and maybe revisit the relationship once we both return from our separate adventures.
Thus far I've only had two brief exchanges with him over Facebook, both initiated by me. The last time I messaged him I asked him why he was being so distant and he told me that he still truly cares about me, but we're too busy with our separate lives at the moment.
I'm still confused about what he means by this. I don't understand how two people can go from talking everyday and being "in love" to going 3 consecutive months without saying a word to each other.
I stopped messaging him after our second conversation because I didn't want to seem like "the clingy ex-girlfriend", but I'm really struggling being so far away from home without the person that I once considered my best friend to offer the occasional word of support.
I feel like I can't get past our relationship because of the open-ended nature of our agreement and I really want to talk to him about it. At the same time I'm scared that pressuring him to be in contact with me when he clearly wants some space will confirm to him that he doesn't want to get back together.
I miss him so much, what can I do?

tickle · Dec 25, 2014, 05:19 PM

He seems to want to cut all ties with you. Suggest you move on with your life. There was no agreement. He is trying to let you down easy. You are hanging on far too long and must get on with your life.

talaniman · Dec 26, 2014, 08:22 AM

Accept this is the end of this relationship and eventually you will have the closure you need to get beyond it. You will realize he was letting you down easy and stop the false hope of this thing starting over later. No this is NOT as open ended as you think, that's just the way you want to see it. The challenge for you is to see this by his actions, NOT his kind last words, and do as he does, STOP contact with him, and live your life as he has done YOU.

Until YOU let go, there can be no moving on.