[Iyishah]

Hi my name is Iyishah Bennett. I am 19 years old and I have an out of control 3 year old. He doesn't listen. He hits other children and even me. He seems to have no problem with people with blond hair.
His daycare teacher has black hair and he makes her life hell every time he goes to class. One day a sub with blonde hair came and she said Marqiis was an angel. She was there the next day and he was good that day. When his regular teacher came back he went back to his ways. Could it just be the teacher that he doesn't like or does it have something to do with him liking blondes? What ideas do you have on what I should do to help my son do better, and be nicer, and listen?

[J_9]

First of all, who is the parent here? You are, of course. So, you cannot let him hit you. You must put a stop to this. Why do you let him hit you? What do you do to him or say to him when he hits you?

I think the blonde hair thing is just a fluke. He listened because it was someone new and unfamiliar.

[iceberg]

Hi my name is Iyishah Bennett. I am 19 years old and I have an out of control 3 year old. He doesn't listen. He hits other children and even me. He seems to have no problem with people with blond hair.
His daycare teacher has black hair and he makes her life hell everytime he goes to class. One day a sub with blonde hair came and she said Marqiis was an angel. She was there the next day and he was good that day. When his regular teacher came back he went back to his ways. Could it just be the teacher that he doesnt like or does it have something to do with him liking blondes? What ideas do you have on what I should do to help my son do better, and be nicer, and listen?

Who is the boss here you or your son? Can you imagine what he will be like as a teenager. He needs a strong parent and some rules before he gets older or you will have big problems.It won't be easy,child rearing never is,but go for it.Good luck.

[isabelle]

It sounds like you and your child need some counseling.
Children act out for different reasons and punishments is not always the answer. I commend you for reaching out for help.

[miss manners]

People complain about the "terrible twos" but the threes are MUCH worse. Just because your son is difficult at 3 doesn't guarantee he'll be awful later, but it DOES depend on how you learn to handle him now. Take a parenting class, read a parenting book--Reinforce him with praise or stickers whenever he does good things, ignore small things (you'd be amazed how rewarding an adult's attention is, and will get the child to perform a bad act over & over). For big things, isolate your son from social interaction and attention and issue consequences firmly & fairly & calmly (and DON'T BACK DOWN). If you are inconsistent or back down from consequences/punishments, his behavior will only get worse (would you ever play the slot machines if they NEVER paid out)? Even if you do EVERYTHING right, children are children, and your son may not have great impulse control until he hits elementary school (and even then, may have bouts of misbehavior). One other question--how many hours is he in day care every week? Keep his hours to a minimum, and be sure to spend quality time with him, where 100% of your attention is positively directed toward him (even 5 minutes before & after school may help). I'm a developmental psychologist at a major university, and the public has rarely heard the research showing that (a) boys are more harmed by full time day care than girls, and that (b) full time day care + stressed out parents are not helpful for children's development. Slow & steady with your son's reinforcements & punishments will result in a happier and well-behaved child as he grows up (but up to age 6-7, children will be VERY difficult in spurts). Good luck!

[Fr_Chuck]

Sounds like the child needs some swats on the butt.

[brazygirl08]

Hi. With a lot of child experience. He needs consistency! If you say you are going to do something DO IT. Don't say if you do that one more time then ____ and not do it! Hold to your word and let him know you mean what you say! This will help. Also offer rewards if he has a good day! BUT DON"T reward him if his day is bad just because he begs... If you say "If you are good today we will go to Walmart when I pick you up and you can pick a surprise" Then you find he was bad and you still take him because he cries to go... this will show him he can be bad and still get the surprise!

[isabelle]

You may need to be more specific that " be good" or " you were bad" You may need to say , for example... If you do not hit your friend. Or if you eat without crying... or pick up ( maybe just one ) a toy you were playing with. Some times at 3 years old they can not tell what we perceive as good or bad behavior. Just a suggestion.

[sammie07]

Hi my name is Iyishah Bennett. I am 19 years old and I have an out of control 3 year old. He doesn't listen. He hits other children and even me. He seems to have no problem with people with blond hair.
His daycare teacher has black hair and he makes her life hell everytime he goes to class. One day a sub with blonde hair came and she said Marqiis was an angel. She was there the next day and he was good that day. When his regular teacher came back he went back to his ways. Could it just be the teacher that he doesnt like or does it have something to do with him liking blondes? What ideas do you have on what I should do to help my son do better, and be nicer, and listen?

Does he have his father about or have you spilt reactly? You are mummy you rules don't have a 3yr old hitting you and telling you what to do don't hit him back other wise he will think its OK to hit you and others try putting him on a step and keep putting him there if he gets up do not talk to him this will be hard but it works with me or a time out conner try sticker chart hope this any help good luck also if you have man coming and goesand his lifes not settled this could be y he is playingf up not say it is like this because have not sais much how your life style is good luck again .