[chancellor1609]

I have been in somewhat of a long distance relationship. We are 250 miles apart. 10 year age difference, me older, male. I have known her 4 years. She was my friend through a bad break-up of over 14 years and we learned quite a bit about each other, so much, we fell in love.

I have asked her to leave the situation she is in with her kids and come here with me to my home. Several times she told me how much she loved me and wanted me and would leave there soon and then would say,"I cannot do this anymore." We are far away and this cannot work. I cannot just pick up and move. I have 2 kids(10 & 15) and what would they think?" I have heard nothing about how terrible the schools are and the crime in her area and how she would love to be with a man like me. How her daughters would love and respect me and we would have so much fun together as a family.. how she and I have so much in common with each other, etc, etc, etc.

3 day ago she told me she loved me. I finally told my mother about her and being in her 80's my mother said she just wanted to one day see me happy with a woman that would love me and respect me and have the same things in common, all before mom dies.

This woman asked f told my my mom that I had found the woman she was referring to and I said, "yes." It was her. We talked about her moving here with the kids, yesterday, in the morning, and getting married someme in the near future. She said, "Ok, but when? I said, "you pick date and time. All I have to do is plan the proposal." I didn't hear from her all day, until last evening and I asked her, "what do you + Me equal?" She said "us." I said "happiness." She responded with "I cannot do this anymore." I get too depressed of thinking of everything" I just want to move to Florida and be alone. Away from everyone and my family. She does not get along with estranged family. They are all dysfunctional. She never said she does not want to be with me other than she does not want to be in my state because she does not want to run into the girl I was with or any relatives of hers. I told her that people do not control our existence and we should not be afraid of that or them. I texted her long text outlining my intent and heartfelt feelings. No reply but she did send me a Facebook message this morning and said our horoscope descriptions are true.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH HER? Me, mid 50's, her, mid 40's.

[talaniman]

What part of she doesn't want to live in your state is it you don't understand? Why not move to Florida like she wants?

[joypulv]

I tell this to everyone who wants total strangers to tell them what another person is thinking - We don't know her, we haven't even heard from her, so the fact that you ask us what she is doing and thinking says a lot about YOU. It says that you think women are mysterious and all think alike. It says that you are not a real communicator. You don't figure out the little ways to find out what she is feeling.
"What do you + Me equal?" How is that even relevant to this question? How is her reasonable answer relevant? How is your 'correction' of her answer relevant, except to show us that you feel a need to play 20 romantic questions with her? Your idea of a lead-in to a proposal is to correct her when you ask a question?????

She must have some serious reasons for staying, and you aren't gently, sweetly, patiently finding out what they are, not by peppering her with questions, but by talking and listening. Perhaps the fact that she followed your correction of her answer with 'I can't do this anymore' is a sign that you are exasperating. You would drive me nuts. And if a man TEXTED me his 'intent and heartfelt feelings' I would be SO out of there! Sorry for being harsh.

[Homegirl 50]

I would imagine she does not want to pack herself and her kids up and move where you are. Her kids have friends, a life. This is no small deal.
Why are you texting her all of this? Pick of the darn phone. Why don't you move where she is?

[odinn7]

Sounds to me like you are pressuring her and she just doesn't think that moving is as easy as you seem to believe it is. So I ask this...if moving is so easy...why don't you go to her?

[talaniman]

Does your mom live with you and you care for her? They are strangers to each other. Maybe them meeting would help. It's crazy to uproot a family just on your promises, and I bet this LDR isn't about a lot of dating, just online chats, right?