[sammie07]

OK PLEASE PLEASE HAVE THE TIME TO READ MY STORY BECAUSE I NEED HELP BAD TIME PLEASE PLEASE HELP HELP HELP :( :Z

I started going out with a lad on 2nd April 2002 who I met at college in September 2001 he was 18 and was 16 yrs, I thought it was just a little fling at first thought he just wanted one thing till he said he loved me. Anyway I started having problems with my parents so I move out my parents home and moved into my boyfriends dads house with him to we lived together for yr and 1/2 there then I found job and worked while he was at home doing what he wanted to do, we had good times and bad times then we decided we wanted a baby so we told my boyfriends dad and he was so pleased even though we were only 19 and 17 so I came off the pill and we tried. On Dec 25th 2002 he asked me to marry him I said yes we were so happy we planned to get married on Feb 14th 2003 it never happened because we never had the money to do it . Also in 2002 my boyfriend worked at a night club and went behind my back with an x partner. Then I started being a little unhappy in 2003 and I had a sex relationship with someone else this happened 3 times being with my boyfriend still it then stopped when I found out I was pregnant in 2004 and knew for a fact the baby was my boyfriends when the baby was born he/she looked a spit of my boyfriend and me. I felt so bad that I had been behind my boyfriends back I loved him and couldn't let go of him. He didn't know that I had been behind his back at this stage. Anyway I had baby Dec 2004 we were so happy then March 2005 something happened which I not going to go into. And my boyfriend had to leave the home until August 2005 when our baby was 9 months old he moved back in since then I started to push him away a bit because I wasn't happy. And I had the baby to think about. 2006 we had relationship counseling and that didn't work we really wanted to this to work well I thought he did as he brought it up. It then came up that he had tried to get my sister in bed and if he had got his way he would have ended with me and gone with my sister then March 2006 we spilt for 6 Months got back together in August 2006 for because we really felt a lot for each other, then October 2006 he then tried it on with my other sister when we were together I then found out this on the 25th of Dec 2006 and had a rubbish xmas and my child's birthday was changed because I couldn't cope being around him. Then Jan 2007 I told him about going behind his back in 2003 he was very hurt then he also told me about going behind my in 2003 before I went behind his back while I was working we both got over that a bit. Ithen started dating on the net met 3 guys that didn't work and was just about to give when a guy messaged me feb 2007 and I have now talking to him since then and I am happy will be meeting him in may 2007. Me and my boyfriend where OK till we were both started seeing others that when I realised that I still love him and can't cope being with him but I really don't know if he wants me even thought he says it sometimes I think he just don't want to be on his own and he is rushing I give advise to take it slow get to know the person 1st and don't go for anybody because you don't want to be on yr own he has came running back to once again because he has just been hurt by 2 girls which thought they wanted him I know I till love and care about him and I partly want to be with him but wonder if I ever going to happy again as I don't know what this other lad will bring. DO WE START AGAIN OR DO MOVE ON WHICH I FINDING IT HARD TOI DO BUT WOULD LIKE HONEST ANSWERS PLEASE. PLEASE HELP MY HEAD IS SO MESSED UP HELP HELP HELP!! I am doing a childcare course so I can do the best in life for me and my daugther of 2yrs just need to know what to do if to tell my daugthers dad that its over never again we need tro move on. Or think about a new with this other guy I am waiting to move and I just want me and my daugther to be happy with or without mummy having a partner.
I have learnt by the things I have done wrong and know I would never do it again don't think we both want to be alone. That's what its all about I think what do you think?

my question is wat do i do move on and say no to him or get back ith him and give it another go?

[JoeCanada76]

First of all something happened in March that you do not want to get into. Well if you do not want to get into it then we can only assume or guess what happened to make him leave for so long. Why not stop the guessing and let us know what it was.

Secondly, there was lots of rambling and ranting which too me is a bunch of nonsense between you and him and others that should never have happened in the first place.

Thirdly,

I do not understand how your head can be so messed up. It is very simple.

You both do not really love each other. You both just do not like the idea of being alone.
You both spent times with other people while seeing each other. That tells me that this mess is both your faults.

As soon as you realize that this is a big mess, the only way to handle it is to end it. Put this so called sex relationship out of its misery. End it, and end it for good, because it is no good for you, for him or anybody else.

Now the only only focus you should have right now, but it does not even seem like a concern to you? The baby. The only and the most important concern you should have right now is the baby. Out of your whole speal about sleeping here and there and with this person and that person. Out of this whole thing you only mentioned your baby twice.

This tells me that you have only been thinking about yourself in this situation. You wanted help, help, help, help and begging for help, help, help. Once you read this and you asked for the help, which the only help that will help you now is the truth. Some people do not take the truth well, but I hope your one of the ones that do take it well. Hope this will make you think and get your head on straight.

So focus on the baby. What is important for the baby and drop everything else.

Joe

[JoeCanada76]

P.S. I took the time to read everything. (;

[mckenzie134]

Your relationship is very unhealthy and will never work and cheating in a relationship for me and its over, trust is a no.1 thing in a goor and healthy relationship. I know thatto truly love and be loved youmust first be able to trust that person and you definitely can't if there is no trust there will be no relationship. Not saying people don't get jealous bt to trust someone in your relationship is a must...

[JoeCanada76]

They can not trust each other. They have both cheated on each other.

[talaniman]

Darn another young person who has a baby and doesn't know what love is. Love is not cheating or getting cheated on. You have proven that you cannot deal with a relationship and like JH, I find it telling that your more concerned with a cheating ex, than the life you brought into this world. Forget relationships, and get an education and a decent job and give your baby a good loving home. That's true love.

[sammie07]

First of all something happened in March that you do not want to get into. Well if you do not want to get into it then we can only assume or guess what happened to make him leave for so long. Why not stop the guessing and let us know what it was.

Secondly, there was lots of rambling and ranting which too me is a bunch of nonsense between you and him and others that should never have happened in the first place.

Thirdly,

I do not understand how your head can be so messed up. It is very simple.

You both do not really love each other. You both just do not like the idea of being alone.
You both spent times with other people while seeing each other. That tells me that this mess is both your faults.

As soon as you realize that this is a big mess, the only way to handle it is to end it. Put this so called sex relationship out of its misery. End it, and end it for good, because it is no good for you, for him or anybody else.

Now the only only focus you should have right now, but it does not even seem like a concern to you? The baby. The only and the most important concern you should have right now is the baby. Out of your whole speal about sleeping here and there and with this person and that person. Out of this whole thing you only mentioned your baby twice.

This tells me that you have only been thinking about yourself in this situation. You wanted help, help, help, help and begging for help, help, help. Once you read this and you asked for the help, which the only help that will help you now is the truth. Some people do not take the truth well, but I hope your one of the ones that do take it well. Hope this will make you think and get your head on straight.

So focus on the baby. What is important for the baby and drop everything else.

Joe

thank you for your advise it was great the reson i have only said the baby twice is because i was telling you what the relationship was and didn't know wat to do she means the world to everyone that knows me can tell that coz i never have nothing she always goes first but the other way round for her dad he will put her first his own way. You are right we don't want to be on our own and maybe we need to just forget it and both think of baby she's 2yr now i never thought it would ever lead to such a long relationship and now we got baby think about her which i always do anyway thank you.

[sammie07]

Darn another young person who has a baby and doesn't know what love is. Love is not cheating or getting cheated on. You have proven that you cannot deal with a relationship and like JH, I find it telling that your more concerned with a cheating ex, than the life you brought into this world. Forget relationships, and get an education and a decent job and give your baby a good loving home. That's true love.

Thank you but that's wat i am doing sorting my life out doing childcare courses and thinking of my little girl want to move but daddy says i can't but reliled that he can't stop me really coz i not stopping him seeing baby want to get my life on track think about baby but he keeps messing my head up coming back to me the reason i went behind his back was coz i was really unhappy and i now wish i had told him i was unhappy and got out the relationship we both done wrong. Every time it does not work for him he comes running back i think its because he don't want to be alone .