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Need advice
I love a guy since 10 yrs!! We got in contact online. He knows about my feelings for him, he doesn't love me but he told that he wants to sleep with me. I have always imagined making love to him all these years so I get temptation to fulfil my fantasy my desires and I am too crazy for him. May be I can get over him after that. I am 26 still virgin but he is not. Is it right thing to do? Please advice me!
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Very bad idea. If 10 years of knowing him hasn't made you get over him, having sex won't help either. You know its all LUST because he doesn't love you, so your love is hopeless, futile, and greatly misplaced.
Boy do you need a real life besides him that makes you happy. |
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It depends on your beliefs... are you okay with having sex with someone just for the sake of having sex? Are you hoping that your fantasy of being with him, having a relationship with him, will become reality for a more permanent relationship? He has made it very clear that he isn't interested in you other than for sex, so are you okay with being used in that way? Of course, you may be just wanting sex and nothing more from him.
Some people are okay with getting together with someone just for sex, other people want more of an involved relationship before they have sex with someone, and others believe that having sex is only for sharing with the person that you are married to. You'll have to decide which category you fall into knowing that he is in the first. I agree with tal.....10 years is a very long time to be pining away over someone who isn't interested in you. Have you had any boyfriends during this time? Do you know this person outside of online or is that just where you first met him? |
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Neither 'bad' nor 'good' - the question is can you handle it. I'll bet that you can't. He shows up, you have sex, he leaves. You pine away, hoping he has fallen for you. He won't! He could give you a disease or you could get pregnant. Your fantasy will be dashed, gone, replaced with grief. If you can't get rid of the fantasy by getting out more with men, then just live with the longing.
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Sex, for the sake of sex, won't change the relationship, and you risk having lost your virginity to a man, who wants nothing more.
The more important question I think, is, why has the relationship been stuck in this place for 10 years? Maybe it is time to find someone you can get to know, locally, and have a normal relationship, face to face. |
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