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    paperpusher85's Avatar
    paperpusher85 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Oct 16, 2014, 07:59 AM
    Office busy body
    I be-friended a woman a couple months in the office. We have shared 2 lunches on off days and exchange emails often. I keep things light but she is pretty edgy. She is married to her wife of 8 years and frequently has extra-martial affarirs. She most recently carried on an affair with our boss. I knew, advised her otherwise and never asked about it again. Recently, somebody turned her into HR. She told me they couldn't substantiate the claim (as she's a lesiban and he's married) and also implied I had better not come after her job again. I had nothing to do with this at all. I wish I didn't even know the truth. I am concerenced if I don't tell HR I am doing another employee an injustice if they are feeling mis-treated becasuse of this relationship. What should I do?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Oct 16, 2014, 08:16 AM
    What should you do? Start looking for a new job now. I see bad things happening in the near future no matter what you do or don't do at this one.

    If she is buddy-buddy with anyone more than you are....guess who will be on the losing end. Particularly if no violations of company policy are found.

    And at a lot of employers...she could have done everything she did....and not have broken any rules or codes (outside of moral ones that rarely apply) And she certainly hasn't broken any laws. You end up painted as a troublemaker and your career derailed.

    No I am not defending her, nor do I condone that sort of thing in the workplace, ever...single or not. Just that these are not job related and the employer is only going to care when it does effect the job related stuff.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
    		  
    #3

    Oct 16, 2014, 09:24 AM
    'She told me they couldn't substantiate the claim (as she's a lesiban and he's married)' - HUH? Irrelevant when it comes to 'substantiating' an affair. What makes you think HR will even try, anyway? Rumors are rumors and most HR are trained to leave them as such unless they disrupt the company.

    'if I don't tell HR I am doing another employee an injustice' - Makes no sense either.
    How on earth does 'telling HR' keep an injustice from happening?

    Let it all go, do your work, and mind your own business.
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