[dina88]

Hi I'm a doctor & so dose my fiancé.
I started to doubt his behaviour & I need to help him or you to assure me.
He prefers to stay alone & not talking too much , doesn't like to have much friend or to consult anyone about his private or practical life.
His parents are divorced & I guess he had many non serious relationship. He said one day that he hates to b a groom & didn't won't to get married.
He very often tells negative comments to me & started to yell when I tell jokes to him or about him to break the ice.
We're getting married & I v fears as days ago he told me that he suspects himself to have chronic undiagnosed depression as he didn't see any psychiatrist as I know.
Tell me is he a case?
How can I manage ? If he refused to see psychiatrist!
I v psychological interests may be I can help!
Thank u.

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't make jokes about him, and you should not have to "break the ice" with a man, you are arranged to marry.

So why are you suppose to marry him, if he does not like or want to marry.

[joypulv]

Do you mean 'I NEED a doctor and so does my fiance?'

Going online to ask total strangers (even doctors) if someone is a 'case' or not is meaningless. No one can possibly know. He probably doesn't know. The word 'case' isn't any help anyway. Someone needs professional help when they can't get through their day and when they don't know how to handle their emotions and thoughts. If he says he has long term depression, it's reasonable to believe him. But only he can make the decision to see a therapist. It doesn't have to be a psychiatrist.

Don't get married until you are sure you want to.

[Jake2008]

Only a Psychiatrist can make a diagnosis, no matter how much you know about mental illness. If he has admitted 'chronic undiagnosed depression', I would take that seriously enough to insist that he be assessed.

In your post, you say: " He prefers to stay alone & not talking too much , doesn't like to have much friend or to consult anyone about his private or practical life.
His parents are divorced & I guess he had many non serious relationship. He said one day that he hates to b a groom & didn't won't to get married.
He very often tells negative comments to me & started to yell when I tell jokes to him or about him to break the ice."

I'm reading your words here, and some of what you say, are great big red flags. Do you think your concerns would be any less, or any different, if you married him?

He prefers to be alone, doesn't talk much, and has few friends. No wonder! Do you think that those characteristics will change after you are married?

My guess is that he's gone through many relationships, because of the same things you are seeing now. It is hard to have a relationship with a person, who isn't into relationships, and that's what it sounds like to me.

What I advise you to do is see if there is any wiggle room. If he is admitting to (self-diagnosed) depression, perhaps he would be willing to see a private therapist. If he is willing to talk to you (and/or a therapist), and try to address the problems he presents, you would at least have a shot at knowing him well enough to know whether you wanted to be married to him for the rest of your life.

But, to sit back and do nothing, and marry this man, despite having some serious concerns, well you'll be the only one to blame when nothing changes, or, gets worse.

[talaniman]

You can't change him, only accept him as is and pay attention to the red flags that say he needs more help than even you can give. Not a very bright future for a marriage I am afraid.