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    ischa23's Avatar
    ischa23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 12, 2014, 05:34 AM
    I feel my husband don't care about me
    Every year on father's day anniversary birthday ill give cards that coming from my heart
    Recently I given my husband father's day card come to find out he left n his brother card I just
    Confronted my husband telling more likely its in garbage I really don't keep cards I just threw them away its like he just threw the way hw I feel about him
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Sep 12, 2014, 06:25 AM
    And what is your question?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Sep 12, 2014, 06:28 AM
    A little drama queen, huh? So, he does not have a secret box to save every card or letter. Guess what, very few men do. Men and women, operate on a different level,
    He may look and say, I work every day, help provide a home. Why can you not see, the love I do.

    He may well be saying he loves you in a 100 ways, just not the ways, you are looking for.

    And so, you throw your cards away, guess who you are hurting, YOU, not him, most likely he did not use the care and love to pick a card out.
    The card is important to YOU, most likely none of them mean much to him.

    I would recommend, both of you reading this book.

    Amazon.com: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (9780802473158): Gary D Chapman: Books
    Precious7's Avatar
    Precious7 Posts: 333, Reputation: 61
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    #4

    Sep 12, 2014, 11:05 AM
    Men and women operates in a different way, if you want to see him taking an interest, getting excited, loving it, then do something what he is interested, feels excited about. The things that goes according to his likings. For instance, You love chocolates, flowers etc. and your husband likes a bottle of champagne, wine, Sports, a good delicious food etc. so, if you give him flowers, chocolates, he will not feel very excited or he may not even feel loved by you (just saying), bcos that is not what he likes. But if you do something which he has an interest in, then he will remember it. So, try to know what he likes and his interest is in And gift him, or do things related to those interests.
    And yes, "The five love languages" I recommend it too.
    ischa23's Avatar
    ischa23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 13, 2014, 01:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    A little drama queen, huh? So, he does not have a secret box to save every card or letter. Guess what, very few men do. Men and women, operate on a different level,
    He may look and say, I work every day, help provide a home. Why can you not see, the love I do.

    He may well be saying he loves you in a 100 ways, just not the ways, you are looking for.

    And so, you throw your cards away, guess who you are hurting, YOU, not him, most likely he did not use the care and love to pick a card out.
    The card is important to YOU, most likely none of them mean much to him.

    I would recommend, both of you reading this book.

    Amazon.com: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (9780802473158): Gary D Chapman: Books
    I'm not drama queen, you don't know me my I've been through a lot in my time I grew up with no love from my mother I grew up no father I have been beating rape molested by me giving my hubby cards to show him how much he's means to me but by him throwing them away it was showing me he don't love them he don't love me yes I've been hurt so much.plus I just lost my mother
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 13, 2014, 01:58 PM
    Women like all those mushy things like flowers and romantic cards. Most men don't. If you want to knock his socks off, make him chocolate fudge or cupcakes or a batch of cookies. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #7

    Sep 13, 2014, 01:59 PM
    You need to stop expecting him to show love the way you think he should. He has his own way to tell and show you that he loves you.

    I am going to suggest you find a compromise before this issue affect your child(ren.) Instead of giving him cards, perhaps making him a bookmark or something he can use that fits in with his way of showing love. If that doesn't work for you, maybe making a box for him to put them in after he reads them. That way you know they are there and he doesn't have to worry about hurting your feelings.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Sep 13, 2014, 06:33 PM
    His throwing away the cards, does not mean he does not love you. Yes, that shows way too much drama, thinking it does.

    Men, (most men) cards mean nothing to them. They last about a week at my home, on a shelf, maybe 4 months in a drawer and then thrown out. That is about 4 months longer, than most men keep them.

    You need to see , what he thinks is important, he shows love in his way. Not in the way you want.

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