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    niq_neek's Avatar
    niq_neek Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 3, 2014, 01:34 AM
    Why not make it legal?
    It has been 10 years now and nothing. He calls me his wife but that doesn't really mean . I wear an "engagement" ring. It was just handed to me like here. No asking or even saying this is your "engagement" ring. It is what I asked for though. He wears no ring.
    What is the deal?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 3, 2014, 01:59 AM
    The deal is you are being taken advantage of. Either put on your big girl panties and move on or accept that it will always be this way.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 3, 2014, 02:01 AM
    Don't you two talk ? Maybe he has issues with getting hooked; had a bad one last time ? How would we know this ?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 3, 2014, 03:51 AM
    Deal is, you moved in and do everything a wife does. He has no motivation to do anything. Talk to him, perhaps, tell him he needs to date you and start more romance.

    Or tell him what date your wedding will be, or give him two choices of a date.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Sep 3, 2014, 04:10 AM
    There is a saying, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Many people don't believe in marriage, and that could be the issue, or he just likes having you around until something better comes along. You don't need marriage, but you do need to protect yourself.

    We need more background on you to advise what you need to do. How old are you? Are there children? If not, do you want children? Do you work?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Sep 3, 2014, 05:06 AM
    Scott said what I wanted to say. You allowed this to happen for the last 10 years... honestly I think you should have put your foot down a long, long time ago.

    Also it might be worth looking into if you can claim common law marriage status, which varies significantly from state to state. THis is more for your own protection than his as it grants you more more legal rights then being his live-in love muffin.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #7

    Sep 3, 2014, 05:13 AM
    When one person of a couple asks why does the other person do or not do something, I always ask "Why do you stay?"

    So ----- why do you stay? Or perhaps another question might be why you don't say something like "We get married on X day or I leave." You asked for the ring and got it, in the most unromantic way possible, and I can't imagine why you are even still with him, or why you are asking us why he is the way he is.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #8

    Sep 3, 2014, 05:14 AM
    The only person that can answer your question, is him.

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