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Ruup91 · Aug 29, 2014, 01:32 PM

So I truly love my best friend and while I know she is in a relationship I feel like I have to tell her. Here's the thing they have been together not even a month and she has to travel 2 hours away to see him and I have yet to hear that he has visited her. He didn't even show up for her birthday. We have been friends for almost 5 years and we have gotten really close. One thing that truly made me love her was when I was hospitalized for heart and lung failure. After I came home she was the one person who always came to see me and she was with me through my darkest time. Whenever I'm with her she lifts my spirits and if I didn't have her in my life there would be a piece missing from me. Should I tell her?

Cat1864 · Aug 29, 2014, 03:25 PM

This may seem harsh, but it isn't meant to be.

You should not tell her. She currently has a boyfriend and that puts her off limits. It doesn't matter what you think about their relationship or how long it has lasted. What they do is between them.

If you cannot continue to be her friend without wanting more or to pour your heart out to her, then back off from the friendship.

Think about this: If she were so flighty as to leave him for you, would you trust her? Would you be constantly worrying about another person taking her away from you?

If she was your girlfriend, how would you feel if someone else tried to take her away from you?

I suggest making sure that you aren't confusing feelings of deep friendship and appreciation with love. If you weren't in love with her before you were hospitalized, then your feelings may be confused. You can end the confusion by backing away and not being as close.

talaniman · Aug 29, 2014, 03:55 PM

I can certainly understand your very intense feelings of gratitude from this very supportive good friend but she gives her affection to another and as a good friend you should respect her choices. Its obvious your feeling are NOT the same as hers, and you may well push her from you trying to get more than she is willing to give.

Keep your mouth shut until you figure it out, and don't give into impulsive words, or actions because of your intense feelings.

Precious7 · Aug 29, 2014, 11:10 PM

I have few friends, they are exactly like your best friend, they are there in every situation or need even when there is no need, but still they are there. But I can't marry all of them because of their love, care, respect and gratitude towards me. She is already your Best Friend! Then why you want to change that relationship? What if you loose your best friend if you ask her to become GF. Moreover, If she didn't had any BF then it would have been no problem but she has a BF. If you are a Good friend of her, why would you think of taking place of that person whom she loves? That's her personal life. That's her choice.