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    Seheroza96's Avatar
    Seheroza96 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #21

    Aug 25, 2014, 04:41 PM
    I don't mean to blame anybody or criticise them. Actually I do mean to criticise one or two opinions. But that's really not the point. As far the minimal studies conducted on pre-ejacualtion. It states that the sperm does exist but it is too 'immobile' or 'little' in number to actually cause a pregnancy.
    As per as the reliability of websites is concerned,this one was suggested by a gynaecologist and hence I wasn't going to ignore it. Plus is also researched scholarly websites like Stanford medical and American pregnancy association which support what the website I posted said.
    All I'm saying is, before just shushing somebody off saying they "know nothing about birth control" and "statistics don't matter". Actually honestly informing the teenager about the fact that there is no evidence of either or, makes more sense.
    I appreciate the initiative everybody is taking, but in terms of sex education being such a significant and sensitive issue for teenagers specifically, personal experiences shouldn't be used as facts as more often than not there are several missed out parameters.
    They way a few people "dramatized" things. Calling me 'stupid' and 'and not aware of facts'. I lost nights of sleep worrying about me getting pregnant to the point I spend hours on end researching not only online but from my college Counseler, gynaecologist and physicians.
    Saying," we aren't sure, so just to be safe.. Use protection and don't risk it" works too. Instead of saying " hey! You might get pregnant, cause I happen to know too many unlucky people who did."
    Just don't scare people to this point.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #22

    Aug 25, 2014, 05:01 PM
    I should mention, at this point, that one of the people that posted on your thread, answered your question, was deemed infertile because of chemo, got pregnant before that using protection, is an OB nurse. She delivers babies for a living! She has the education to answer your question, which she did!

    As for the advice given to you. We go by facts. Fact is, there is sperm in pre, and all it takes is one sperm for a pregnancy to happen. So your research showing the sperm in pre is too little in number, means nothing. Just one gets the job done. Does it happen often? No. Does it happen? Yes. We can't determine if you'll be lucky or unlucky.

    There is no birth control on the market that's 100% effective. The only form of birth control that's effective is complete abstinence (no naked games with anyone even if there's no penetration), or a complete hysterectomy which removes all reproductive organs. Anything else is playing Russian roulette.

    Sex education isn't our job. It's not our job to teach teens about sex, about pregnancy. Heck, if you really want to get down to it, it's not our job to do anything on this site. We all volunteer here for free! But we pride ourselves on giving accurate information, and that's what you got. You asked, we answered, and we gave you the facts.

    I do agree that no one should call anyone stupid. That's not helpful, and it shouldn't happen. That's why we have the report button, and if someone says something like that to you, you really should report the post so it can be removed. Name calling is not helpful, and isn't allowed on this site. But the moderators can't monitor every thread and every post. It's up to everyone that posts to report the posts that go against the rules, and name calling is against the rules.

    Personal experience should be used as facts, especially when it comes to something like pregnancy. Would you rather we say "okay, he only penetrated a little, you used the morning after pill, research online says you're probably not pregnant so you're okay, for sure, no way you're pregnant", and then, when some unlucky person comes back and says "You said I wasn't pregnant! No way it could happen! I am pregnant! You lied", we say "Oops, the odds were in your favor, but I guess you didn't get lucky. Sucks to be you"? How is that helpful?

    We don't post to scare people, but kiddo, the truth is often scary. If you want to play adult games, but aren't ready for the consequences, expect to hear the truth! If that makes you lose a few nights of sleep worrying, so be it! We're not going to sugar coat it, or lie to you, just to make you feel better! You came here asking a question, and we answered it. If you can't handle the truth, talk to your friends, they'll tell you what you want to hear.

    I just re-read what I wrote, and even though I don't mean to be harsh, I can see that it may come off that way. That's not my intention. Sadly the written word leaves a lot to be desired. So, if it came off as harsh, I apologize. I'm trying to tell you why you got the advice you did, and why, even though it scared you, it was the only advice we could give.

    You seem like a smart kid, so I hope you read what I wrote, read it more than once, and understand what I'm saying, and that it's not meant to bring you down. I'm doing my best to explain why you got the answers you did, and I think, based on your posts, that you're smart enough to understand. :)
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #23

    Aug 25, 2014, 05:08 PM
    What that article fails to mention is that one reason pre-ejaculate can contain sperm is because the valve that is supposed to stay closed until ejaculation can be weak and leak. Guess where the leaked sperm go? It also does not take into account when the male last ejaculated. If he got off earlier in the day, or even the day before, then there is a greater chance of left-over sperm being in the tubes when pre-ejaculate is released.

    Contact may not be enough but usually contact isn't all there is. You changed your story from slight penetration to no penetration. I don't know which is closer to the truth, but I do know if you continue to play games, things will go farther than you are planning. Get upset if you want at people trying to keep you from messing up, however, please take care to make the chances of pregnancy as small as possible.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #24

    Aug 25, 2014, 05:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Seheroza96 View Post
    I'm 18 year old. I indulged in non penetrative sex a week ago. His penis did not completely enter my vagina nor did he ejaculate. However just for precaution I took an ipill (ECP) within four hours of the activity. What are the chances of me being pregnant?
    Lets look at your original question again. "non penetrative sex...did not completely enter". This is contradictory. The latter point implies that the head of his penis was inside your vagina. If only a little. "nor did he ejaculate", are you sure? I'm sure he's not going to tell you he did, whether he did or not. "What are the chances of me being pregnant?" That was the crux of your question and it was answered rather accurately. The answer was that the chances are very slight, but not impossible. And, if you properly read the studies you will see they say the same. There are factors that might help the sperm in pre to travel.

    So the bottom line is that we could not and cannot tell you, in good conscience, that you are definitely not pregnant. We could and did minimize the possibility. We can't examine you, we weren't there doing the sexual encounter. So we can't tell you what you wanted to hear. Your gynecologist did examine you. He talked with you to get full details. So he was more willing to certify that you aren't pregnant.

    If you think we should have done anything different then you are wrong.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #25

    Aug 25, 2014, 07:00 PM
    Since the question has been answered, this thread is now closed.

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