[kimmradd]

My 19 year old daughter graduated from high school last year, began community college and hated it. She began experiencing severe anxiety attacks and was finally diagnosed with bipolar/anxiety disorder. She began medication that helps her, but definitely has an effect on her. She asked me if she could take a year off school to get used to the medication and seek employment. She babysits infrequently and manages to pay her share of her car insurance with her babysitting money. So far, she has not found a job, and does not seem to be actively looking. When I ask her about it, she becomes very quiet and shuts down. She is not very social and she doesn't go out with boys or friends. She sits at home, and does not enjoy going out very much. I am worried about her. So much change all at the same time, it can really overwhelm anybody. But how do I coax my daughter to get up and get going when she already has such a hard time with anxiety. She does not have a car of her own, we share 1 old car that is on it's last legs. It would help so much if she were to get a job and save up for her own car. I am a single mom and I always worked hard my kid's whole life.. she always saw me working hard, Until 4 years ago when I became disabled with a spine disease. Since then I spend most of my time in bed and in pain, and I am afraid that she is basing her life on how I am forced to live mine now. She is a sweet and thoughtful girl who is very softhearted. I am not sure how to handle this situation. But I know I must get firm with her and let her know that sitting around the house all day and night is not any way to live. I would love any advise.

[Fr_Chuck]

She had no issues in high school ? What about her friends and social life in high school, how was it?

Perhaps she should start back to university, on a 1/2 time schedule ?

[teacherjenn4]

Can she start online university classes? That may help her gain confidence in herself with the successful completion of classes. After the agreed one year away from school, she could then begin transitioning back to on campus classes.

[smoothy]

Word to the wise... the longer she takes off, the harder its going to be to go back. School is a routine at this point, one that she's always known... the longer you take away from that the harder it will be to get back into the routine, and the less she will want to.

[joypulv]

1. Withdrawal from friends at 19 is something to take very seriously.
2. No one should take psychiatric medication without talk therapy.
I would be concerned about the diagnosis she was given. It isn't so much about it being right or wrong, because the doctor really only has a snapshot to go on, but it's important to keep following the person to see how it evolves or gets better. And medications have to be constantly fine tuned, changed, dropped, and so on, to see what really works best for any given person. They can be very variable.
And if she continues to withdraw with no interest in her future, I would give some thought to taking her to see another doctor or even two, after asking around for the best. Withdrawal can be an early sign of simple schizophrenia, and around 19 is a common age for it to develop.
Of course she might just be going through 'something' about this turning point in her life, and she will soon want to go back to school or get a job. A friendly overture to a cute guy that got rudely rebuffed, or a clique of mean girls.
There's no way anyone online can possibly know.

[Jake2008]

First of all, this isn't about you, and how she affects you, your illness, your space, etc. It is about a mentally ill girl, diagnosed with bi-polar/anxiety disease- do you know the specific diagnosis?

I am happy that she has seen a psychiatrist who can provide a diagnosis, and a prescription that she is taking. You don't say how long she has been taking this medication, or what her treatment team has recommended for her care- i.e. counseling, group therapy.

She may have been misdiagnosed or under diagnosed for many years. Mental illness doesn't happen overnight. She has much to face as she gets better.

If she is unwilling, which it sounds like, to help herself, contact the doctor who provided the diagnosis, and ask him what's next in her long term treatment plan. I say long term, because it will likely go on a long time, until she is stable.

You getting tough with her won't help. She needs love, support, and direction, and it is up to you to provide that the best you can by following up with the doctor, and/or contact person, or some coordinator in the mental health field that can provide information on programs and counseling.

If that is too much for you to do, then also seek assistance through your doctor for a referral for home support, or mentorship. There are many ways you can support your daughter in positive helpful ways.