[Arrowintheknee]

Right let me start from the beginning. Last month me and my boyfriend was at our local metal bar letting our hair down and just enjoying each others company. We had only had one drink so neither of us were tipsy or drunk (I don't allow myself to get drunk anyway). We were talking about my norwegian heritage when he suddenly says if we wanted to get married then we would have to head there and do it the Pagan way. He's been married before when he was younger (I'm 27 and he's 33) and he's never really spoke about marriage. It reeeeeally took me by surprise but equally a part of me was happy he mentioned it. Sadly I needed the bathroom just as he mentioned it and he said something about now I'm scared off and not going to come back. He said it kind if jokingly but I know he's really sensitive so I did my best to assure him I would be back and that I loved him.

All that evening however all I could think of him suddenly bringing it up after 3ish years. When we got back home that night I asked him would he have said anything if he hadn't had a drink and he went very quiet on me and just says he wasn't sure, maybe. Of course that made me start thinking whether he then had meant anything. I've said to him since his reply upset me but he's not mentioned that night since. I know he loves me and that he's a real sensitive romantic guy but I'm disappointed he hasn't said anything else. I don't think its something he would bring up willy nilly so all in all a month later and I'm as baffled as the night it happened.

Does anyone else have any ideas? I don't want to keep dragging it up and moan or nag about it... I'm just really baffled. Thanks to anyone who replies or reads this :-)

[talaniman]

I think you are making a mountain out of NOTHING. Sounds like an off the cuff remark, a poke at humor over the practice of your ancestors.

[smoothy]

If he's serious he'll bring it up again. Deal with it then. And if you aren't sure you WANT to get married. Like 150% sure... don't do it until you are.

[joypulv]

On the other hand, this is straight out of Four Weddings and a Funeral.
He says it, he isn't sure of your reaction, so he backs off.
Maybe you two need to actually talk about life, jobs, children, houses, places, dreams, families, futures? THEN you can talk about marriage. It can still have an element of romance, but it's really so much more.

[Arrowintheknee]

Thank you all for replying, I appreciate it!

@Talaniman-To me marriage isn't just something you make an off the cuff remark over, plus he NEVER talks about marriage even jokingly, or hasn't done until then but I can see your point.

@Smoothy-Thank you for your advice, but rest assured I wouldn't even consider getting married if I wasn't 100% serious :-). I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

@Joypulv-The thing is we have spoken about our future, marriage, kids, the whole shebang, but as he's been married before and doesn't ever speak about it, I don't bring it up unless I need to really. I don't want it to be painful when talking about marriage as to me it should be a good thing.
Thank you for taking the time to answer :-)

All in all, upon reading what members have said I do think perhaps I need to ask again and see what happens.
Perhaps because it's such a big deal to me I did overthink things? I'm not really sure.
Either, thank you to everyone who replied and gave advice!