[yellowstone1]

Hello, I've been off and on with my boyfriend for almost two years now. Every time we are "off" it isn't because we fight, it's because something happens in his life that he just can't seem to get over. The cycle goes like this: For about two weeks he treats me very well and then starts to drift away and contacting me less. Then explodes and tells me why he's mad (something in his life). I try to listen, and he'll just stop talking to me. I think we're having a conversation via text and he just ends it when he wants to, or ignores it, especially if it's a subject he doesn't want to deal with. He stops making plans with me, I always go to his place, etc. Then out of the blue he's done. Then two weeks later he wants me back and says the sweetest things and that he knows I'm an amazing person.

I've tried everything - Advice, just listening, backing away but the past week I just had it. We went to dinner after a few days of him ignoring me and of course he acted like everything was fine again and started to sing a song to me which upset me so much for some reason. It was a love song and I just said to him "why are you so hot and cold with me?" At that point he started to look down with rage in his face and asked me why everything I say is an after school special! The night went on and on like that until he told me he was depressed and wants to die most days, and also said he resents me for putting up with him and it's his stuff to deal with so he doesn't understand why it effects me. (all of that was so horrible to hear).

He has the best smile, he smiles ALL the time just like me and we have so much in common... He really is a sweetheart. The boyfriend in question also says I'm the one and wants to marry me but does nothing to get out of his financial situation, hates his job, his apartment, and now he hates me from what I'm hearing and pushes everyone away every few months when this happens.

My question is, what is the best way to communicate with him that he should get help? Or when is enough to just give up? Is it right to give up on someone you love? I'm just so drained and starting to feel depressed too. Thank you

[talaniman]

If you are drained and depressed then from this then its time to give it up, because as you see it just gets worse. I don't see him changing, do you?