[Deniseanne]

Has anyone ever married and found out after the wedding that the new husband had cleverly misrepresented himself to wife and wife's family in order to finally get married after having been a bachelor all of his life? Any input or similar experienced from anyone would be appreciated. Thanks so much!

[J_9]

I'm sorry, I don't understand. Many people get married after being bachelor's/bachelorettes.

[Deniseanne]

Thank you for your response. I mentioned the husband had been a long time bachelor just for additional info. My question is : Has anyone ever married and found out shortly after the wedding that the new husband had cleverly misrepresented himself to his new wife and wife's family in order to get her to marry him?

[Fr_Chuck]

How did they misrepresented ?

But men and women, lie about things all the time.

You are being so vague, we have no idea what is really happening.

[Deniseanne]

Hi Fr. Chuck,
Thank you for your response to my question regarding Misrepresentation and deception. You mentioned I was being vague. Yes I realize I had not provided any details in the subject. It was just a general question. However the details are: A man married a woman who waited until marriage before having sex, in order to set a good example to her newly engaged daughter. She had also mentioned during their year of dating that she would never marry or date an alcoholic. During the many dates with this man, he rarely drank when they were out together. She had also mentioned that passion and honesty in a relationship were extremely important to her ( never having experienced passion in her first marriage 20 years earlier) She was assured there would be much passion when they were married. The man worked voluntarily setimes for a charitable organization, before the marriage took place giving the impression to the wife and wife's family that he was a good man. After the wedding, and during the honeymoon, the new wife was very surprised to discover the new husband was completely impotent and also shocked to find him purchasing bottled of heavy liquor, wine, beer etc. and consume large quanties. She watched his personality change into a man who was abusive, discovered many
Lies regarding financial matters and other deceptions. After many patient tries for 3 months the husband was totally impotent and the martiage could not even be consummated. The new wife also cane actoss a document written by one of the husands previous doctors that stated he had been a heavy drinker for over 30 years! Regarding the impotence problem, the new wife suggested he go to his doctor for testing. After he went, the test results indicated he had extremely low levels of testosterone in his system- caused by years and years of drinking.
When the wife had finally learned these shocking details regarding the document, the secret drinking, the fact that the husband knew and had not informed the wife before marriage that he was impotent and knowing she would never have marrried him if she knewxabout his drinking, after she confronted him, he admitted he hid these details from her because he knew she would never have married him. He also showed no interest in resuming his voluntary work at the charitable organization after the martiage as well.
My question again, has anyone ever found out after marriage that a husband had misrepresented himself to such a degree in order to be married?

[AK lawyer]

The answer would undoubtedly be "yes". It has in all probablility happened many times.

So, what of it?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, they lie about money, jobs, property, If it can be lied about, it has happened.

Most sexual disfunction can be treated.

If he was such a heavy drinker, they either did not date much, or women had to know but denied it.. No one could be such a drunk, and not be obvious.

And of course, many couples, ( I would want to say most) have sex before marriage

[smoothy]

If you got married after dating them for less than three years... then why are you surprised to find things aren't what you imagined them to be?

If you dated them for longer than three years and didn't see everything for what it was (or at a minimum of MOST things)... then why did you keep your eyes closed for so long.

Seriously, in three plus years you should have seen things were not exactly as claimed. And you shouldn't have needed anyone to tell you anything directly....you would see 1+1 did not equal 2. If you got married a month after you met them, then you really have no room to complain because its your fault for jumping the gun.