[DoulaLC]

You want to help him, be supportive... he was there for you; it's understandable, but do it as a friend not as a girlfriend.

You don't stay with someone because you feel that you owe them.

It sounds as though neither of you is really ready to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship right now. You are staying out of feeling indebted to him, and likely because he has you feeling he will fall apart if you leave. That is not love... that is manipulation, even if he doesn't realize it. He is clinging onto you, but keeping you at a distance at the same time.

He has no idea how to be in a healthy relationship and you don't have that experience either to help him. To continue as you both are helps neither of you... and, has been said, it will likely get worse as he wields more control over what you do, what you wear, and who you spend time with.

Break off the romantic relationship... be a friend instead who encourages him to get professional support while you heal from past wounds yourself so that you can form a healthy, mutually loving and respectful relationship with someone in the future.

if he won't accept that, end all ties. Some people need to have complete control and that is a dangerous situation.

Pay attention to the red flags...if it doesn't feel right, it's not!

[talaniman]

Trading one abusive relationship for another isn't love, or healthy. What you describe is gratitude for help threw a hard time, but you have gone way too far when you think it's love. Give gratitude, but not your heart, and NEVER love someone more than you love YOURSELF.

[Mwme15]

I never said that I was only staying because he helped me and I feel indepted. No normal person could just stay only because they were helped. Love would have to be present. But the fact that he did help me through that time helped me to see how dedicated he could be and how caring he could be. If those character traits show up again then great. I believe that if he can stay with me while I'm being incredibly stubborn about leaving a guy who is hitting me (while everyone else had left me), I believe that I can stay by his side while he goes through difficult times with his disorder and I can be patient while he is being a drama king and being difficult. I can do that because I love him not because I feel indepted. I don't claim to be omniscient when it comes to relationships but I do know I love him. Can't be told I don't. Most people say that I can't because of my age and like most people my age... I disagree with them and my mind won't be changed. But thank you for your imput. I did ask for it.

[DoulaLC]

Reread all that has been written... including your own posts and what you have been experiencing the last 8 months.

I don't think anyone said that you don't love him. No doubt you loved your other boyfriend at one point as well, but that too was not a healthy relationship.

Read through the posts again and give this some careful thought. You've been given some insight from people who have no emotional investment in the relationship and who can see it more objectively.

Obviously the decision on what to do is yours.

[Mwme15]

Yes. Lots of new thoughts have been introduced that were new to me so my brain will be busy. Thank you all for the advice.