[PancakesLuv1234]

I've been friends with this guy who I've met on the internet and we have known each other for a little more than a year now and I'm pretty protective of my personal information and I don't post pictures of myself online and things like that. So he was just curious to know what I looked like and asked me to send him a picture of what I look like and that is the last question I ever want to get from an online friend because I cannot do that. My parents would even freak out if I posted even a single picture of myself. Its something I cannot do. I don't want to make him mad so I made an excuse saying that my camera is broken and that I can't but I don't think it's a really good excuse. I don't want to make him disappointed since he's my friend but still posting a picture of myself is something I'm not going to do! And also another really bad thing, I LIED about where I live and apparently he lives close to that place and where he lives I don't live close to there at all but he thinks I do since I lied to him about where I actually live so since he thinks we don't live too far he wants to get together in real life and meet me in person and that's another thing I can't do! Again I can't make him disappointed by saying no and I have no idea what to do. My parents will definitely not allow me as they don't even know this person but I still feel bad if we don't see each other in person. I know I don't want to but I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

[DoulaLC]

It looks as though you have no choice but to either admit that you made somethings up to protect your privacy, or end the friendship. You certainly don't want to continue to have to make things up when you speak to him.

You are wise not to post things that would give too much information. After all, how do you know that he hasn't been making things up as well? For all you know, he could be some 40 year old guy trying to pick up teen girls. It happens enough for there to be police units just for investigating those situations. He could be a nice guy, your age, the point is you just don't know for sure.

Just tell him what you have said here... that you are very protective of your personal information, that you don't post photos online, and that you would prefer to just keep this an online friendship. If he starts to back off and chats less because of it, that's his choice. I'd just tell him the truth....what do you really have to lose?

If he is truly your friend, I would think that he would understand your being protective of your information. If it makes it easier, tell him that your parents would be really upset if you gave out more information or posted a picture... it's the truth and a good friend would not ask you to do something against your parents' wishes. If he continues to try and do so, then you will know he isn't thinking of your best interest and he would not be worth anymore of your time.

As a bonus, I would also make sure that your parents are aware of your chatting with him. It would be an added measure of protection and allow them to see that you are being responsible in your use of the computer. The last thing you want to do is cause trust concerns with your parents.

[ScottGem]

First, let me congratulate on standing on your principles. You are very smart to protect your privacy. Second, let me lecture you on lying. Honesty is the best policy. And you have a good out here. Simply tell him that your parents are very strict about what you do on the Internet and they would take away your computer privileges if they found out you violated their rules. Besides which you don't want to disappoint them. Tell him you are sorry you fibbed, but you didn't want to admit that you obey your parents.

[joypulv]

One of the hardest things to learn as a teen (and even older) is that you CAN have a mind of your own, and don't have to do what other people want you to do, except for parents and teachers. I think most of us went through this as teens (even though the internet didn't exist when I was one). There is always someone who makes demands and expectations or even just strong requests and you feel that you either have to make up an excuse or do what they want. As you are finding out, you don't have to! Tell him the TRUTH! You are pretty good at it here, so try it on him, and let us know what happens. Don't let anyone intimidate you.

[Homegirl 50]

How old are you? Your first mistake was starting an online friendship and not being honest. Tell your parents what you're doing and tell him the truth. It could be you have no business talking to him to begin with.

[Fr_Chuck]

Lying is a issue you need to deal with... you need to tell this person the truth, and see what happens. Also remember he may be lying, as to his age and other issues also.

In his defense, if I had an online friend, I chated with all the time.. I would ask to see a photo also. Does not sound like he asked for a nude photo, or anything improper,

But depending on your age, you need to also, come clean and tell parents all about it

[catonsville]

First, let me congratulate on standing on your principles. You are very smart to protect your privacy. Second, let me lecture you on lying. Honesty is the best policy. And you have a good out here. Simply tell him that your parents are very strict about what you do on the Internet and they would take away your computer privileges if they found out you violated their rules. Besides which you don't want to disappoint them. Tell him you are sorry you fibbed, but you didn't want to admit that you obey your parents.

While I agree with the first part of the response, the last part is a little bit shall we
say cloudy. As compared to 100% truthful. ;)