[sebnemnur]

Hi I'm a student from Turkey.I'm 16.My ex and I are in the same class.He and I were really good friends before we dated.But in time,We fell in love with each other.We dated for 3 weeks but we broke up because we couldn't work things out and we realized when we were together all we did was hurting each other so this break up was our mutual decision and after we broke up he said 'I love you but this is something we have to deal with.After we broke up,we didn't talk to each other.We acted like strangers.It has been 4 months since we broke up and it's summer vacation now.I still love him but I know that we are not gonna get back together.All I want is to be friends with him again.I miss our friendship.I miss all the things we used to.But I don't know if he wants to be friends again.What do you say? What should I do?And let's assume that we become friends again.you know we had a history and when we broke up we were in love with each other.So can the feelings we had come back if we become friends again?Is there any chance?(Please consider that we'll be in the same class for 2 years)

[Homegirl 50]

It depends on how long you were friends before you dated. You did not date that long and as long as you set boundaries you can at least be able to speak to each other. Does he want to be friends with you?

[Wondergirl]

It sounds like you want to be friends again so that he will fall in love with you again. Is that true?

[sebnemnur]

Homegirl 50 ; We were friends for about 1 year but just like a said we were really close friends.I don't know if he wants to be friends but he just doesn't talk to me in class.

Wondergirl;Yeah sort of.But even if he doesn't fall in love with me again I want to be friends again.I don't want to lose him.

[Wondergirl]

Could you really ever be friends with him again without any romantic interest in him (or wanting him to think of you as more than a friend)? I'm thinking no--you can't rewind the tape. I tried a few times in my younger years. It didn't work, and the tape got all tangled up.

[sebnemnur]

You're right but you know he'll be in my class for 2 years and I just can't see any other ways to take away my pain.Isn't it worth to try ?

[Homegirl 50]

I say just relax. He may or may not ever be friends with you again. Don't push it or pursue it.

[smoothy]

Few people can remain friends after they break up... so, its anyone's guess how you both handle it. If only one of you has a problem.. its never going to work. Only time wil tell.

[Alty]

You dated for 3 weeks. That's not a history, and doesn't warrant demolishing a friendship. At 16 you both really have no idea what love is. Love is hormones at that age, and love after 3 weeks of dating, but you couldn't work it out? It wasn't love dear. It was an experiment that ended badly.

So call him, tell him you miss his friendship and want to know if he wants to try to make a friendship work again.

I'm friends with many of my exes, but I was never in love with them. The ones that were in love with me, or I was in love with them, when it broke off, it stayed that way. It's only the exes where we had fun, did things, and decided it wasn't working, that I'm still friends with. I love them, but I'm not in love with them. There is a huge difference.

So, if you were both really in love with each other, and you still are (according to your post) then friendship won't work. If it was puppy love, or teen love, not real love, then you, it could totally work. But knowing the difference between being in love and teen love is something the two of you have to figure out.

You also have to realize that being friends means being friends, only! When one of you starts dating someone else, if you're jealous, or he is, then you're not friends, and can't be. Then it's time to walk away since you obviously weren't able to make a romantic relationship work, which is normal at your age.