[star81]

My best friend was helping my sister behind my back. We weren't talking to each other. I was not talking to my sister either. My sister let me down and was really mean. My best friend and I were fighting over his loyalty to me.

He asked me the first time my sister asked him for help. I was angry and told him to do whatever he wanted. He started helping my sister. None of them told me what they were doing behind my back.

My sister got pregnant. Of her boyfriend they say. I then found out different pieces of the times they catch up. I was angry and hurt. I could not understand why my best friend that (to the best of my knowledge) hardly ever talked to my sister was helping her, lending her money, fixing her computer, catching up with her.

I sent my friend an email explaining how hurt I was. And he dumped me, defended her, questioned my love for my sister, and asked my to look after her. He repeated over and over again, he helped her to to the right thing by me and because he likes her.

I told my sister my best friend dumped me to defend her and she laughed. She told me I had issues. And send me a long email highlighting how selfish I am.

I told my friend everything my sister did. And he still wants to fix her computer. He still feels sympathy for her and likes her. I told him that in my view, if he still wants to help my sister and still has sympathy for her he is not my friend. I told him he does not love me or care for me enough to be hurt on my behalf.

And apparently I am mean and a bad sister.

I am so hurt I do not know right from wrong. I think my friend loyalty, care and compassion is with my sister and not me. I think he does not love me or care for me.

I need other people's opinion. Does my best friend even care for me?

[Wondergirl]

Why can't your best friend help your sister? Does he belong only to you?

[star81]

Because my sister is someone hurting me

[Wondergirl]

How is she hurting you?

[star81]

She let me down in more ways than one. I was there trying to help her when she tried to harm herself, and she was all drugged up saying I was a disgrace of a person, she offered her help on something important, then canceled on me on the last minute leaving me in a hard place and then told me she did it because I was selfish to expect her to wake up so early. She laughed when I said my best friend dumped me to defend her. I can go on for longer but that is about the summary

[Wondergirl]

How old are you, your sister, and your best friend?

[star81]

Me 36. My sister 24. MY friend 42

[Wondergirl]

Wow! It sounded like you are all in your teens.

Isn't this all quite petty?

[star81]

That is why I am asking here? I do not know if I am wrong. All I know is that he is the closest friend I have and he should care more about me

[Wondergirl]

And not be willing to help your sister? Since you don't like her very much...

Is she willing to get help for her problems?

[star81]

I was more along the lines of if someone is hurting my best friend I would not like that person very much. Regardless of he/she is. I have a duty to keep helping my sister because she is family. But I would have expected him to care enough about me getting hurt.

My sister does not think she has a problem.

[Wondergirl]

He has to choose one or the other? You can help her, but he can't?

He knows you're hurt, first by her and now by him?

[star81]

He was aware I was hurt by her. He knows everything she has done. He knows I feel hurt by him.

I do not think he has to chose. Because I am thinking he has to like her very much and like me very little to keep helping her and liking her. He has been my friend for 8 years. I expected him to care about me getting hurt more. Maybe I am wrong?

[Wondergirl]

You care about him more than a best friend, sounds like. Jealousy over his attention to her--when he should be paying attention to you.

What does HE tell you about all this?

[star81]

His attention is not what bother me. It is helping someone hurting me

[Wondergirl]

How does he help her hurt you? If so, is he aware that's what he's doing?

[star81]

It hurts me because he knows how mean she is and still helps her. He knows what he is doing and I voiced my opinion clearly

But I need to add, my sister is really good at manipulating people. Really good

[Wondergirl]

If this pains you so much, cut him loose. If he helps your sister and this makes you uncomfortable/angry/disappointed--and he knows that but doesn't care, will still help your sister, it's not worth it to spin your wheels and be continually upset. Take a break from both of them.

[odinn7]

Is this a best friend or a boyfriend? have you been dating? It sounds like you are being petty and jealous but at least I could understand it if you had been dating and this happened.

[star81]

Yes we dated for a long time. We are just friends now.