[Dylanson]

Hello,

I apologize for the length of this, but my father’s personality is changing in a way that is destructive and possessive. Both of my parents have always been organized and taken care of their belongings. Over the past few years, my father has been escalating away from this. He destroys everything he touches! He has also become very controlling over my mother and does things he knows will upset her.

Example one: He was looking for a hat in the oak hutch in the living room when one of the drawers broke. My mother purchased the broken piece and asked my father to install it (he is a carpenter, so it is not a problem). By the time he was done, not only what the drawer not fixed, another drawer was also broken! He became angry and told my mother to never purchase another “piece of junk” like that because it was a waste of his time. My mother had to fix the drawers.

Example two: My father has RLS. He refuses to take medication, but also refuses to follow a diet. He takes 3x as much calcium and refuses to take magnesium even though he knows it is part of what causes RLS. He also refuses to stop drinking caffeine – instead, he has increased his caffeine intake. Since my mother cannot sleep, she began looking at a separate bed. My father became angry and refused to allow her to sleep in another bed.

Example three: He is very possessive over community belongings, such as books. My mother has an entire collection of first edition books. These are books that she purchased new for $35 and are now worth over $2,500. Almost every one of them has been highlighted it, written in with pen, and the pages have been destroyed. He has even begun taking my books – the books that I use in college – and is doing the same thing! When we asked him why he wrote in them, he just said, “They’re mine that’s why!”

We are at our wits end! We don’t know why he is doing this, but he is escalating. I am a full time college student and I work, but he treats me like I’m a lazy slob! He gets angry and treats us like we’re reckless with things, but he is the one who is reckless – he leaves the gate to the backyard open so the dogs can run in and out as they please. Last year, he put the car in reverse and hit our German Shepherd! She was not injured, but she was knocked down and he would have run over her if I hadn’t run behind the car to stop him.

PLEASE! I do not know what to do! I don’t understand why he is like this! I don’t know how to help him or my mother. My mother is crying more and more because she doesn't know why he is doing this. If she brings it up and tries to talk with him about it, he just denies it, gets angry, and does it even more. Can anyone help me?

[talaniman]

Call the cops and have him evaluated involuntarily. Just say he is off his meds and acting crazy. Stick together.

[J_9]

RLS... Restless Leg Syndrome. Being off those meds shouldn't cause problems of this magnitude.

How ow long has this been going on and how old is your father? Is it possible he is drinking? Is there a history of mental illness in the family?

[Fr_Chuck]

Sounds like emotional or mental issues. Have you sat down and talked seroiusly with your mother as to possible issues.