[Sarrah04]

I've been in relationship for 3 years now with this guy from my uni. I'm 22 and he is 26 and still doing his bachelors while I've completed my masters. My parents want me to get married and this guy doesn't do anything obviously. I have loved him with all my heart and soul but he abuses me on little things and then he leaves me and comes back after a month or two. Apologizing and everything. It happened more than 9 times now! I'm sick of it. I so everything for this relationship even I'm the one financing it and him, on dates and everything. I've never asked him for anything. He didn't even wish me anniversary because I was crossed at something he did. So he didn't bother. He has improved a lot but not still up to the mark.

Now, what he does is, he stays out, hangs out with friends, when he is home he is playing mobile games all the time, and when he finds some time he texts me up to ask what am I doing and all! I take it as an offense I'm not a part time girlfriend to whom he would talk when he finds time while apparently what all he does is not important at all. I feel like a time pass thing. We have been physical too.

Is he fed up of me? Shall I break up or try to work on it? When I look back I feel I've been with a wrong person, but since he has improved as I said before I feel it might not be wise to leave him now. He ignores me when I'm crossed at something, that's my real problem these days. He pisses me off a lot. He is kind of overprotective, spying on my fb all the time, checking my inbox, phone everything. Although I've never cheated him. What should I do? Is he the one or not? He makes me more sad rather than happy. I'm stressed all the time. Got my blood pressure high, migraines, diagnosed with depression, swelling on face because of crying.

I'm too obsessed with him. Please help! Am I demanding too much if I'm demanding his time? He says he will do all he wants. He does nothing objectionable but I want more time. We argued today and I said OK go take a break and if you feel you can go on without me? Then don't come back. But this is killing me :( can't wait! Kindly advise.

[Wondergirl]

Nine times? "He does nothing objectionable"????? It sounds like everything he does is objectionable!

No contact. Don't let him back into your life. You're young and smart, so move forward without him. He will only hold you back.

[DoulaLC]

Now that you are on a break, you can give some careful thought to the relationship and whether it is what you want. Reread what you have written and then think about what you would say to a friend if she were telling you the same thing.

Your words:

* he pisses you off a lot
* he makes you more sad than happy
* he spies on you... looking at your Facebook, phone, etc.
* you are stressed out all of the time
* he abuses you on little things... leave, comes back, apologizes, and then repeats the cycle all over again
* he doesn't spend the time with you that you would like him to and tells you that he will do what he wants
* you are financing the relationship

What would you tell your best girlfriend in this situation? Would you tell her that he sounds like the guy of her dreams? Would you tell her that she can ignore all of that stuff; that it doesn't matter? Would you tell her that it has "only" been 3 years, give him some more time? Of course you wouldn't tell her any of those things. You would most likely tell her to take advantage of the break and end the relationship so that she can heal, learn from it, and eventually meet someone who is better suited to her.

You have seen what your life would be like if you stayed with him. Now you decide if that is the sort of life that you want or not.

[Precious7]

In Short! Leave him!

[smoothy]

I don't see anything endearing about him... he sounds like a self important pompous jerk, on top of being immature and childish. Surely you can do better than him. Leave him...find someone better. That will be easy to do based on what I heard about him.

[catonsville]

Read what Doulal_C said, Post #3 infact read it over and over again until it sinks in.
Move on Woman.

[talaniman]

Don't take him back this time and end the cycle of misery. Doesn't matter if he can't live without you. What matters is that you cannot be happy with him. Haven't you wasted enough time and energy and good health on this fellow?

How much more will you waste on him when he is obviously not the one and may never be.