[deehopes]

It is better to feel something than nothing it all, although it hurts me to the point of not wanting to do anything that I need to do because I'm so depressed and lonely. My boyfriend does not use his words to make me feel good either, he uses his actions. OR should I say HE USE TO use his actions. Now he doesn't do anything physically to show he cares and hasn't for a while now. He's very arrogant & cocky. He also likes to make a mockery of me. To me that's just evil.

I think I found out why he's been this way for so long now. He's been cheating on me. Here I am telling him that I won't give up on us no matter how bad I feel inside and here he is cheating on me. I don't think there is anything left. I think he used me as a challenge for himself and now that challenge has been met. He has already moved on to the next. I know he suffered from severe negative criticisms, physical abuse when he was a child. He has a lot of pride, but, suffers self-esteem. I try to be understanding of this, but, even still he won't open up.

I truly believe he does not care, about anyone or anything. I have to ask for everything, including attention, hugs, love, time. I don't know what to do. I have spent so many years with this man. Help! I feel like I'm suffocating!

[smoothy]

If its as you say... you really should have left him years ago. You knew the way he is... and you saw he wasn't improving.

My opinion... leave him. Not every guy out there is like him so why settle for less than you deserve?

Yes its going to hurt, yest its going to be hard... it always is, no matter what the circumstances are. You will survive and you will get over it and move on. And who knows... the next man you date might turn out to be the love of your life.

[Oliver2011]

"I know he suffered from severe negative criticisms, physical abuse when he was a child."

You know we all have a lot of things in our past that we can either move on from or use as a crutch the rest of our lives. If you choose the latter then we can pay a heavy price for that.

If he is having an affair his behaviors might be for the sole purpose that you will leave him. He's pushing you away. I agree with Smoothy. Give me what he wants and move on with your life. Don't settle for being treated badly. It will hurt for a while but it will be the best decision in the long run.

[foolsoul]

It sounds like you have invested so much of yourself and received so little in return. I'm sorry that you had to experience this.

I will point out that it sounds as if you may both suffer from insecurities which is affecting you in opposite ways. Where he seems to cope with it by chasing after his own self-interests with disregard for how it affects you, you seem to disregard your own self-interest and devote so much of yourself to him.

I think that you may know that you deserve someone who will devote themselves to you equally. But, I think it is also important to remember that you deserve to feel complete in yourself. I personally hope that you can love yourself fully (which does not equate to disregarding others) without the need of another which conveniently will also likely attract those who will value your well-being as much as yourself.

You are very compassionate to consider his past and attempt to help him. I hope that he can find help to heal his own wounds but I think that it is best for you to focus on yourself at this time.

I really hope that you can move forward and day by day, moment by moment, focusing on your well-being to the point that you feel complete. Please take care of yourself...