[fooloser]

Me and my girlfriend tanzi has been in a
Relationship for last two years. We have been
Happy together. We both love each other. And I
Trust her very much.
My girlfriend had a love affair with her cousin
Pavel since their early teen. Every time she would
Break up with that guy and afterwards she would
Go back to him. Eventually in their final year at
High school she broke up with him for final time. It
Occurred more than 5 years ago
She afterwards made relation with another guy
Called sifat. Though this guy loved him but she felt
Really empty. And after a year of their "rebound
relationship" she broke up. Cause deep inside she
Still longed for her ex boyfriend. Her cousin Pavel
Then she enrolled into the medical school I study. I
Am in her senior batch.. we met in a cultural
Program.. after talking and chatting for a few
Weeks.. we fell in each others love... and we are
Still together happily...
Until... a week ago she went to her cousins
Wedding.. and there she met her first ex boyfriend.. and
She could not control her emotions and they came
Very close... she stayed there for 5days and all
The time they were together... and all this time
She was avoiding me.. she would not answer my
Calls.. replied my texts
And one night she texted me.. she still loves her
Ex.. .
She came back home 4 days ago... we met... she
Was crying... she told me she loves both me and
The ex... but she feels she broke my trust on
Her... she can't forget her ex... her heart tells
Her to go back to her ex
But she is confused between me and her ex... she
Asked me to give her a one month break with no
Contact... she will think and decide in the mean
Time. I told her OK.. I give you the time
I told her.. if you wish to go I won't hold you back... I
Will let you go... I love u.. I want you to be happy...
But if I ask you that will you marry me... will you let me
Love u. live with u. grow old with u. will you stay?
She said she will think about it. And asked me to
Give her the break...
I respect her... its been four days we have been in
No contact... I miss her terribly.. but I won't call
Her
The question that is popping inside my head is... I
Love her so I must set her free... I told her that if
She wishes she may go... but... have I done it
Wrong to ask her to stay? She is in a confused
State now.. should I let her free now? Or should I
Wait for a month?
If I wait here and she doesn't come back. I will be
In much pain. But at least I will know she is happy
Even if she comes back will she be really happy?
And can I trust her as much I did?
Or I should walk away now with my dignity intact?
She broke my trust.. that's for sure...

[Precious7]

"Every time she would
Break up with that guy and afterwards she would
Go back to him. Eventually in their final year at
High school she broke up with him for final time."

Its good that you gave her a time and break to take decision, and also let her know that you want her to stay with you.
I understand it may be hard for you, but mean while she takes a break I think you should also give thoughts to few important things like,
As you have stated breakup and patch up stories of your girlfriend, are you sure that, if she chooses you and you both get married, then again in future if somewhere, somehow she met with her cousin she will not fall in love with him? Which has happened before. I am sure you love her but can you live your whole life with a person whom you love but she has a same feeling for someone else, which ought to be only for you as a husband?
You know marriage is commitment and love together, sometimes you have to be little practical in few things especially if you are thinking about spending your whole life with that person. Before marriage it looks like a piece of cake but after that it really becomes little tricky.
Try to know people by what they do and by their action not by what they say, think and feel". See their fruits.
I hope good for you.
And your girlfriend too.
Bless you both.

[joypulv]

I really don't think she's coming back, and you don't have any choice anyway - she wants the month off and that's it. You seemed to understand all this until the end when you asked 'Should I let her free?' You HAVE NO CHOICE. She is free and you are free. I think what you mean is should you continue with the no contact for a month, and the answer is YES. You don't want to ruin that teeny tiny chance that she might come back. Of course if she comes back, she might just be back because he didn't want her or they didn't work out for some reason, and then you have to ask yourself if it's all just over, painful as it is. Some pain is better being short and intense rather than chronic and gnawing at you slowly.

[DoulaLC]

You did the right think in letting her go and giving her time to sort out her feelings. She has shown that she is not ready to be in a committed relationship just yet... at least not with you. She may still need to learn what she wants and doesn't want in a partner.

Keep to the no contact. If she doesn't come back, it will hurt for awhile, but at least you will know that you can then move on and find someone who will be truly committed to just you and not still having to decide, even after two years of being together.

Be very careful if she does come back, as joypulv said, that it's not just because they didn't work out. If she returns, you may want to hold off on any talk of marriage until you are certain that you are not then a rebound relationship from her ex.