[Muskan Panesar]

HI, I am Muskan from India and here is my question. Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship, recently he came to meet me in my city but I couldn't meet him because my brother was there. He was standing out of my tuition classes and two boys of my senior classes were also there. He asked them whether "MUSKAN" (its my name) studies here or not. They told him that there is no girl named Muskan here. There are only three girls of our class, 2 are gone, and one is waiting for her brother.

After reaching home he called me and said that thanks a lot making me fool. He said that you even didn't told your real name, wow man, what a game played man, how many boyfriends do you have more? You know I love him a lot him a lot. In these 2 days I called him 19 times, 20 texts, but he didn't gave any response. Finally he replied tomorrow I was then OK but around 10:24 he texted me like bye.. thanks a lot.. for making me fool.. am giving my phone to my parents and you stay happy.. good bye... and crying smiley... I called him on 11:20 and his mother picked the call.

Now I am thinking that he is taking my test or making my fool.

So what should I do now. I don't want to lose him. Please help me.

[Homegirl 50]

Leave him alone. You explained and that is all you can do.
Long distant relationship are difficult. How long have you been dating?

[Cat1864]

There seems to be more to the story than you have told us. How did you meet? Have you ever met in person?

Did you lie to him or do you use a different name at school? Did you know he was there and hide from/ignore him?

Why couldn't he meet you and your brother? Were you trying to hide this relationship from your family?

I, too, think you should leave him alone. He is hurt and angry and perhaps frustrated if he feels like you haven't been honest with him. It takes time to get over those feelings. When he is calmer, he may contact you. But do not put your life on hold waiting for him. Let your own hurt and frustration go.

[talaniman]

Leave him alone so he can either get over his anger, and want to talk or go his way. Seems your long distance boyfriend is a big secret that must remain hidden. Why else would you not meet him and you knew he was coming? What would happen if your brother found out about him?

[odinn7]

I am confused...did you lie about your name? Did you hide from him on purpose when he showed up? Seems like you aren't ready for a relationship with anyone if that is true.

[smoothy]

If I traveled a long way to meet someone and they hid from me... I'd be indignant about it too.

If he ever talked to you again you would be lucky. If it was me I wouldn't.

[Homegirl 50]

Did you know he was coming to meet you? Why could you not have met him with your brother there?
I'm assuming your family didn't know about this guy and the guy didn't know your real name.
Leave him alone. That was hurtful and very rude.

[Muskan Panesar]

Hey... my last post was about the cold war between me and my boyfriend.. the thing is that I never lied to him about my name and my grade even I have texted him all my certificates and all... the boys outside my class lied him... and he trusted them blindly not even asking me whether it was true or not... that day my bro came to pick me up... and you know Indian families are very narrow minded,brothers and fathers specially ,they don't even let their daughter out from the house, if they want to go somewhere they have to go with their.. if my brow knew him that he came to meet me in my city and he was my boyfriend he would kill... thats why I didn't meet him... any there is only 10 km distance from his city to my city...
But know I'm confused because
He had seen all my whats-app messages and I also called him last night... and guess what he called me back!! Two times!!
Did he just melt??
Was he missing me??
Or he wants to kill him??
I am thinking about the positive because
He is a kind hearted guy and loves me a lot... whenever we had small fights he remain angry just for an hour not more than that...
So... pls help me guys... should I thik about the Positive side?? And call him??

[Muskan Panesar]

We were friends.. frm I year and its been 1 month we started dating

[talaniman]

This sounds like this visit was your first and you have been carry on this relationship online/texts/calls. How long has this been going on before this visit?

You must not have informed him about your need for secrecy. That's not very honest, and gives him no chance to understand your situation. You had a chance to explain in the begining, you did NOT(?). So you left him in the dark further thrown off by whomever he talked to, but the bottomline is you didn't properly prepare him for this meeting that would be a secret from your family which he might of understood had he been properly informed.

You can try to talk to his mom, she may understand, and help you straighten out this mess of honest communications, but that doesn't solve the deceit of your family, which will sooner or later come to light with them also. If I were him, not only would I be angry, but reluctant to be a part of this drama, and help you sneak around behind your parents back. Take the hint though that this experience will likely be repeated as long as you have a need for secrecy, so under no circumstances should you chase this fellow very hard at all.

Having to sneak around is one thing, giving up your dignity, and self respect is another. Look at it like this, you were dishonest with your family, with this fellow, and from the beginning with yourself, by even engaging with this fellow knowing full well it would be very difficult to have this relationship in a clean, honest way. You led him on basically because in reality, you are not available without your parents permission and blessing!

Being dishonest and keeping secrets has failed you. Continue, down this path, and it gets worse. Sorry, I feel for your situation, being caught between a rock and a hard place. Probably best to do nothing but get yourself, and your feelings under control, before you blunder mindlessly into a greater calamity.

[Homegirl 50]

I read the other thread you posted and I still say leave him alone . Let him contact you. Don't keep bringing this up. You have explained yourself and now it's up to him to decide if he wants to continue the relationship. No need to wallow and beg.

[smoothy]

If you have to sneak around... then don't. Its not fair to him to be ignored because you are afraid of upsetting your family. And as far as these other "friends".....I don't think they are really your friends.

If you are going to mess around with someone... either show enough courage to respect their feelings at all times... or don't do it at all.

You can't have it both ways or people will get hurt... and it will be your fault.

[talaniman]

Likely since your friends were not in on your secret, they decided not to give a stranger looking for you any information.