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ceycey · Apr 11, 2007, 03:00 AM

I have been dating a man for 3 years , we had separated so man times but every time , after a certain period either he called me or I called him and reunited. Last time was 3 months ago , and since then none of us called each other . Now I learned that he will mary someone next June.. I have talked with him on the net and asked how this happened. He told me that he was marrying because of his parents' pressure , they had found a girl for him and they insisted that he should marry this girl. And he tol me that he was tired of their pressure and accepted . He saw the girl only once ! I know that this is true story because he is not such a person to lie about a subject like this and also his friends confirmed too . I did not know what to say and ask him while we spoke on the net because I was terribly shocked and just told him to be happy..
Now I want to see him so much and talk with him face to face . And if I have an only chance I want to try to change his mind . But I also think that if he loved me he would marry me not to someone he does not even know... He just told me bye on the net and we have not spoken again.. Maybe I should not call him again but On the other hand I also think what would I lose if I ask him that I want to see him just for once for a last time .
Could you advice me how to act ? Should I see him for a last time ? And if I do , what should I tell him to change his mind ?

Krs · Apr 11, 2007, 03:32 AM

How old is this guy? Seems rather immature to not hold up to his parents and say NO he doesn't want to marry this girl in June... what on earth, they chose this girl for him..

And why were u on and off for so long?
:confused:

ceycey · Apr 11, 2007, 03:36 AM

Actually he is 37 ! As far as I understand this girl is a daughter of a family that they know...

Krs · Apr 11, 2007, 03:44 AM

37 and he doesn't know how to chose a girlfriend and say no to his parents...
I would walk away now!

ceycey · Apr 11, 2007, 03:50 AM

You are right on your assumption... we are on and off for a long time because he was not a stable person , never knew what he wanted...
I know that if we had married it would not work well either , but all I want is to talk with him face to face for a last time , I won't of course beg for anything , just talk and of course say goodbye... But all my friends tell me that even doing this is not a good idea , so ı am confused...

Krs · Apr 11, 2007, 03:52 AM

I believe your friends are right!
Why bother with talking to him for the last time, what do u think you will achieve by doing so?

ceycey · Apr 11, 2007, 03:57 AM

To be honest , yes I know that I will achieve nothing! This will for sure even make me worse... I don't know... All I know that I feel like a big loser and this feeling is terrible :(
Thanks anyway

vision24 · Apr 11, 2007, 03:59 AM

I can only imagine how you feel! I wish I had an answer! A part of me tells me if you really love someone you would do anything to get them back. Yet I have my own dihlemma! Hah. I guess this is easy to say but if you really do love him go after him! Speak to him openly! Its hard but just do it! I guess I should take my own advice somehow. :) If he does not feel the same and he can't make up his mind then you have your answer. Its ultimatly his dicision but let him know your still an option!!

:) lol now could someone answer my long question on the list?

talaniman · Apr 11, 2007, 06:02 AM

I suspect you aren't in Texas because parents here are the last to know who their children marry. As he has made a decision, I would accept it and be happy since this was not a very stable relationship to begin with. I'm sure you would be happier with some one more solid and mature.

Krs · Apr 11, 2007, 06:08 AM

Solid and mature... love that Tal ;)

ceycey · Apr 11, 2007, 06:09 AM

Yes , I don't live in Texas nor in USA, I live in Turkey ! And unfortunatey this is not a strange situtation in our case... Our families play a very dominant role in marriages...
I also know that ours would not work in anyway but to be happy for this , is the last thing that I could do now..

Krs · Apr 11, 2007, 06:10 AM

Muslim?

Krs · Apr 11, 2007, 06:22 AM

I can't understand why families do this to their children.
Families should want the best for their children. Besides at the age of 37 he should know what's best for him and not his parents.

Copperhead6 · Apr 12, 2007, 09:42 PM

Lol so the real question is why didn't he marry you if he was feeling so much pressure? It would take a small miracle for that marriage to last. I'm sorry but you can't find marriage material in three months. Makes me wonder about his judgement and why the heck you are stressing him so much!