[Doublea1126]

We broke up after 5 1/2 years. I moved 2 hours away because of work. We were still together long distance for a month but then she said it was better we were broken up after an argument. About 3 weeks passed and we chatted, mostly through text, on and off. Then came the time I found out that she was seeing someone else. I freaked out!

I know I have changes I'm making on my own to better my life, but that threw me for a loop. Well we had an even bigger argument about how our relationship was bad etc and didn't talk for a day. Then we started chatting when I asked if we could remain friends. By the end of that week we were back together. We had 2 awesome weeks together and felt like we were more in love than before. But on this past Sunday before I left, she said it all felt forced and she still wasn't sure.

On Monday night we were texting and then it stopped. She called me the next morning to tell me that she cheated on me with that guy. I actually stayed calm, we talked that night and she said that she needed space to figure things out, where her feelings are, what she wants out of life, etc. And we talked again the next night at my request which she was cool with and it helped me understand more of where she was in needing this space. But the next day I text her I liked a bunch of posts she made on Facebook. Well she responded to me saying that was too much. I apologized and have been on no contact for 3 days now. I'm working through it and doing things for myself and reading threads online really helps.

My question is her birthday is Monday... do I send a card? I was thinking that's least invasive. No text. No call etc.

I'd love to hear from peoples experiences with space both female and male.

[talaniman]

Keep your dignity and self respect and leave her alone period. What you think a birthday card will bring her back? Or keep her remembering the good times and miss you? Sorry guy, heal and move on to the next adventure and look forward to it. That will take some time and a bit of work on your part.

If you send a card and she says thanks, will it make you think you still have a chance of romantic glory? Or can you move on whether she responds or not without feeling bad? When a girl needs space give it to her and go do your thing and be happy without her.

5 and a half years together requires a LOT of healing. I know it's not easy.

Good luck for the hard days. You are a better friend after you have healed and got it together.