Check out some similar questions!

JoinKK · Apr 5, 2014, 02:23 PM

Hi to all,

I understand if this sounds like a silly question, the answer might be obvious to you but I really need someone's opinion on this.

I recently got out of a long term relationship that was going nowhere. Last weekend I went out with a friend and really wanted to just have fun. Not expecting to meet anyone.

I met a guy at a bar, he came up to me - introduced himself and tried talking to me. We talked for a bit and he asked if I'd go to a club after the bar. I ended up saying Im not sure - I'll see. Eventually I did go to the club and bumped into him again - We ended up dancing and we THEN kissed. We were both a bit drunk and ended up going to his place. We played a drinking game and somehow me and him ended up in his room. Despite him initiating sex, we did not have sex and I made it pretty clear he can forget about that. He was fine with that and we ended up just cuddling. He asked me to stay but I didn't want to.

He text the next morning, asking if I got home okay and that he had fun. For some reason I replied without showing much interest or even acknowledging I had fun or a kiss at the end of the text message and after my reply he didn't text back.

Is he not interested or thinks I am not interested and that's why there was no further contact?

Thank you in advance.

talaniman · Apr 5, 2014, 03:25 PM

Firstly since you showed little interest why would he text you back?

Secondly he may have been busy. (wife?)

Thirdly you don't know why he didn't return your text. (Why trip on it?)

Fourthly I would be cautious with a stranger I just met at a bar and got drunk with.

Fifthly I would be cautious of expecting too much from a drunken encounter, given you have just come out of a LTR.

Sixthly maybe he has another date at another bar.

Seventhly bars are a lousy place to look for love but a great place to meet a one night stand and if that was his intention, then he had fun(?), but no sex, and that may have had as much to do with not texting you back as your lack of interest.

Eightly He was just checking on you after a drunken night, or confirming your contact info.

The possibilities are so-so endless.

smoothy · Apr 5, 2014, 03:26 PM

He just wanted to make sure you got home OK... it was a common courtesy. The fact he had no further contact is he got what he wanted... a one night stand of sex... he wasn't looking for a relationship.

talaniman · Apr 5, 2014, 03:37 PM

He didn't get sex, just cuddles.

Despite him initiating sex, we did not have sex and I made it pretty clear he can forget about that. He was fine with that and we ended up just cuddling. He asked me to stay but I didn't want to.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 5, 2014, 04:20 PM

He did check to see if you got home, but that's it. Sounds like maybe he has moved on to someone else. You didn't give it up so he's not wasting his time.
Why do you care? He's a man you met in a bar. You need to more careful, spending the night with a stranger.

JoinKK · Apr 5, 2014, 04:31 PM

Thanks to all ! Very good points.

Cat1864 · Apr 5, 2014, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by JoinKK

He text the next morning, asking if I got home okay and that he had fun. For some reason I replied without showing much interest or even acknowledging I had fun or a kiss at the end of the text message and after my reply he didn't text back.

Is he not interested or thinks I am not interested and that's why there was no further contact?

Thank you in advance.

Seems to me that he tried to show more than a drunken interest and you shut him down.

I think you should pay attention to your own reaction and take it as a sign this guy wasn't someone you want to get to know better. Some part of you decided not to encourage him. That part may have picked up on warning signs your conscious mind may have over looked.

smoothy · Apr 5, 2014, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

He didn't get sex, just cuddles.

Opps... missed that. Ok.. that explains it... it was hoping for it... didn't get it... was being nice... and decided to move on to greener pastures. Spending the night with a guy you just met....sex is one thing a person would expect. I guess he wasn't at all happy, but had enough character to be civil about it.

JoinKK · Apr 5, 2014, 06:39 PM

No, I didn't spend the night with him. I was only at the house for an hour/two the most.

smoothy · Apr 5, 2014, 09:08 PM

Ok... but the reasoning still stands... he was expecting more... didn't get it... but he showed enough class not to be a horses rump about it. You have to give him that....a lot of guys would have been righteously indignant in that position.

But if he doesn't answer you back...(even if its not immediate)...its his way of saying thanks but no thanks. At least he is showing class about how he does it.