[jerrysteiniger]

Daughter 29 years old is verbaly abusive when we approach her about finding any kind of job. She has a masters degree and never held a job. She blames us saying we were to cheap to send her to the right schools. She is insulting and curses us when any kind of suggestion is made. We have even suggested she do volunteer work to get experience. She frequently says she tried and no one will hire some one her age who has never had a job. She hates her brother and is disruptive when he comes by our home. She seems withdrawn when meeting anyone but at home is abusive and bossy. She refuses counseling saying we have a problem not her. What options do we have? Jerry

[ScottGem]

You can give her 30 days notice to vacate your home. You are no longer responsible for her. If you want to give her longer you can. You can tell her that she has to find a job and move out by a deadline. It will be hard but you need to stick to your guns.

[joypulv]

DITTO! The fact that you are even asking suggests that you have been chronically letting yourselves be walked all over. By now, she probably despises you for allowing her to do so, and despises herself for being such a user.

There's a slight chance of mental illness, of course, but that's such an unknown at this point that you can't use it as a crutch. And she would have to be the one to seek help for it, not you.

[smoothy]

I'm with everyone else... give her notice to get out... time she does a LOT of growing up really quick.

[cdad]

Your option at this point is to apply tough love. At 29 she should have been on her way to a career and not just starting out.