[fishburn7]

As we all know, Jealousy can be a .

I was just wondering how you all deal with the jealousy that may come from hearing about / meeting / running into your boyfriend or girlfriends past hook-ups.

This may also apply to your significant others ex relationships, but in my mind the jealousy seems much much worse when dealing with just a one night stand.

[Wondergirl]

If the relationships or one-night stands were before I entered the picture, I wouldn't give a hoot! It's history. A mature relationship ignores the past, enjoys the present, and looks toward the future.

If relationshps and one-night stands with others are going on while two people are together as a couple, that's an entirely different situation.

[Kmoney2014]

Trust until they give you reason not to.

[joypulv]

You deal with it by realizing that a) it's self centered, thinking you are the Beginning and End, with nothing from the past allowed and b) it's counter productive, meaning all it does is destroy a perfectly good relationships.

We all (as far as I know) suffer from jealousy, and there are plenty of good ways to let it out, either in tiny bits or with humor, preferably both. Like hang your head and rub your tears and say 'How can I compete with a guy like THAT?' and let her console you.
THINK!

[fishburn7]

I was thinking about this yesterday, Is it possible jealousy, in this type of situation, could be rooted in insecurity? Either insecurity in oneself (self image, ego, self esteem), or insecurity in ones relationship (fear of relationship falling apart, fear of losing ones significant other).

Granted, everyone has jealousy, just as everyone has insecurities, but if you work on yourself to remove insecurities and are involved in a supporting relationship, larger (relationship ending, hurtful) jealousy should never be an issue.

[joypulv]

Yes to all you just said - except never say never. That's 'all or nothing' thinking. There will be jealousy, just as there will be insecurity. Acknowledge it as it's happening, and deal with it then. Let things cool a bit so you can get your feelings under control, and maybe at some time you can say 'Boy was I jealous that day, but I put a lid on it.'

A lot of what we do is goal oriented. We stifle all sorts of feelings and thoughts and actions as a means to an end - in this case, keeping the relationship.

[talaniman]

Yeah, what Joy said. To add the bottom line is how you cope with your own fears and insecurities. COPE being the key word. My own rule is to think before you act or speak. Bad behavior and words are hard to FORGET, even if they do FORGIVE you. So again as Joy says THINK... first!!